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Enhancing Communication in Marriage
In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced back to communication problems. It's not unusual for spouses to stay in a continual state of frustration, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated. Unexpressed feelings can pile up and poison the relationship. When you repress your anger, it will always come out later, usually after something minor has upset you. You may find that it's difficult to have a complete conversation without you or your spouse leaving the room before the conflict is resolved. The emotional buttons that your spouse pushes in you can make you want to bolt and get away from your uncomfortable feelings and reactions. Learning to communicate more effectively with your spouse requires that you be fully present and attentive. You have to be committed to really listening and hearing, not only with your ears but also with your heart. You want to eliminate any communication blocks that prevent you and your partner from growing in understanding and intimacy. Communication blocks are anything that you do, verbally or non-verbally, to keep you from connecting deeply with another person. Some examples of communication blocks in marriage are: * Rolling your eyes and looking resigned or exasperated when your spouse is talking; * Sighing deeply and loudly when your spouse is sharing his/her viewpoint; * Looking at your watch or a clock repeatedly; * Not stopping what you're doing when your spouse is trying to have a serious talk with you; * Not making eye contact and not giving your partner your undivided attention; * Using the time when your spouse is talking to think about other things unrelated to the conversation; * Tuning your spouse out because you've heard the same thing repeatedly and are convinced it's the same old speech; * Becoming defensive and angry immediately instead of showing your partner the respect of hearing him/her out; * Belittling your spouse, name calling, cursing, shaking or pointing a finger, or getting in his/ her face. * Interrupting your partner before he/she is finished talking. It has been said that for every minute you are angry with someone, you lose sixty seconds of happiness that you can never get back. It just makes good sense to do everything you can to preserve the good will and intimacy of your marriage when conflict, anger, hurt feelings, and disagreements occur. If you truly love your partner, you will not want to rip him/her to shreds verbally, or to ignore or discount differing opinions and beliefs. You will want to do everything you can to insure that you have quality communication in your relationship and that you are communicating your caring, love, and respect to your spouse Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "The most important thing in any relationship is not what you get but what you give." While you cannot control how someone else will react to your efforts, you can commit to doing all you can to create a safe environment where intimacy can flourish. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" The e-book is available at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com , where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Contact Nancy at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Ltd buys Getprice NEWS Ltd is preparing itself for the online retailing explosion with the acquisition of comparison shopping site, Getprice.com.au. Alabama news links: Judge gives man 187 years in prison on child porn convictions News from around Alabama. News Near You for Sept. 6 This daily column features short news items from some of the 20 localities that make up the greater Richmond area. If you have a news item, call 649-6990 or e-mail us at news@times dispatch.com NEWS NEAR YOU PowhatanB-24 bomber pilot Neely Young will speak at the World War II Round ... News Briefs Good news for working mothers. Minister of Education, Gideon Saar, announced Monday his decision to extend tuition subsidies for children aged 3-4 in public nurseries. BREAKING NEWS - Child struck by car, car doesn't stop TUCSON - News 4 has confirmed that a child was hit by a vehicle in the area of Drexel and Mission. Officers on scene say the vehicle did not stop. They are actively searching for the driver. Northwest News: John Canzano blames lousy city leadership for baseball's demise in Portland; Say so long to the ... Northwest News is a daily roundup of what's making headlines in the Pacific Northwest. News by location Get local and national news updates via E-mail. LUMBERTON - The Robeson County Board of Commissioners is expected to approve a resolution Tuesday formally adopting a quarter-cent sales tax increase. News buys up shopping website NEWS Limited has signalled a push into the online retail space. News Snapshot: Exit 12B in South Burlington is back in the spotlight ? THE NEWS: The city of South Burlington and the Chittenden County Metropolitan Planning Organization will hold a public meeting to discuss the latest developments on a proposed exit ? 12B ? from Interstate 89 onto Vermont 116 near Kennedy Drive. News by location Get local and national news updates via E-mail. Ten drivers have now clinched spots in the Chase for the Sprint Cup. HAMPTON, Ga. - Tony Stewart raced to his first victory of the year, pulling away from Carl Edwards off the final restart Sunday night at Atlanta Motor Speedway. Site: news - Google News AP Top News at 7:45 pm EDT - The Associated Press
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for marriage wedding Well-Off Wedding Couple Want Donations To Honor Their Dads DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I are preparing for our wedding next spring. This is the first marriage for both of us. We are well-established in our careers and have a nice house with everything we need in it. Sham wedding vicar jailed for four years A vicar, a solicitor and an illegal immigrant have been jailed over the largest sham marriage scam ever prosecuted in the UK. (06/09/2010 12:09:02) The Saddest Nerd Wedding Photo Ever [Funny] # funny While Danish Ubuntu Solutions Provider Martin Pihl 's marriage "wasn't without hazzles", he "juuuust had to check my e-mail before the ceremony." You've got counseling! (Can I still make an AOL joke? I guess if people still use Ubuntu...) [ MartinPihl.dk ] More » Mysterious person stopped minor's wedding in Tamil Nadu Even as officials of Krishnagiri district heaved a sigh of relief after stopping a minor's marriage to a man twice her age Sunday, they are baffled about the identity of the person who faxed them the complaint. Vicar jailed over bogus marriage scam A Church of England vicar has been sentenced to four years in jail for his part in Britain's biggest sham marriage fraud. 61 year-old Reverend Alex Brown helped hundreds of African men gain permanent residency in the United Kingdom through bogus marriages to Eastern European women. Minor girl's fax to collector saves her from forced wedding A minor village girl from Tamil Nadu's Krishnagiri saved herself from a forced marriage to a man twice her age by faxing a complaint and her wedding invitation to the district collector. Facebook threats force French minister to postpone wedding As far as Eric Besson is concerned, Facebook, the social website, just became antisocial. The French Immigration minister, 52, has been forced to postpone his wedding to a 24-year-old Tunisian art student after more than 1,000 people signed up to a Facebook group which pledged to disrupt the ceremony. Marriage is laughing matter How does a former "Saturday Night Live" actor find inspiration for his comedy routines? For gay couples, marriage can be a name-changer In October 2008, racing against California's gay marriage ban, Chloe and Frankie Frankeny wed legally in San Francisco with one chore already done: Chloe had taken her wife's name two years before. Church of England vicar jailed for marriage scam A Church of England vicar who oversaw hundreds of sham marriages to help migrants settle illegally in Britain was jailed for four years on Monday. Site: marriage wedding - Google News Facebook threats force French minister to postpone wedding - Independent
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