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The Art of Letting Go
It has been six months since I left the corporate world - and there are some things I will always miss. Like saying good morning to colleagues on my way to the office where I worked every day. Or getting caught in the excitement as we prepared for another big meeting or presentation. I now realize what a huge transition this was, moving from a corporate headquarters with hundreds of employees to a small home office of one. Though I would never trade in my current life, with its freedom and independence, I lived in that other world for 31 years? ? And I still feel the pangs of letting go. At different points in our lives we all experience the difficulty of letting go - not only physically but with our hearts and minds. We may need to do this with our relationships, careers or sometimes the place we call home. Even destructive relationships can be hard to walk away from. Author Casey Clair, in Still Single, speaks of the emptiness of her five-year affair with a married man and "the hours of self-doubt and unhappiness" that plagued her. She writes: "It all coalesced into a wound that even I couldn't ignore." It was the pain that finally forced her to leave him. We may also have to face the loss of our health or abilities through illness or an accident. When change is thrust upon us, it is often more taxing than when it's our decision. Either way letting go is never quick or easy. No matter whom or what YOU need to let go of in your life, here are ways to get through the process. · Allow Yourself to Grieve Ironically it is your own resistance that causes you the most pain. The more you resist giving in to emotion, the harder it becomes to get through this transition. Stoicism does not lend you strength. It is more helpful to re-live the good moments of the relationship or situation you must leave behind and acknowledge what it has given you. Then let the tears come. · Share Your Experience You may need to talk about the changes in your life. This is the time to turn to supportive friends or family members. Or even to strangers who understand what you're going through. Faye, a violinist and writer who suffered the loss of her parents followed by that of her beloved cat, says, "The one thing that's made any letting go easier is finding people who have gone through exactly the same experience." It may also be reassuring to read about others who have been at the same crossroads - where the past is still so close you can touch it, and the future too dim and vague to offer much comfort. A couple of times in her life, though, Faye experienced losses that the people around her could not relate to. "At the bottom level," she says, "we face letting go alone, in the night. It's really about hope." · Learn to Accept Children grow up and leave home; relationships evolve and people move on. This is life. As put by actor William B. Davis: "It struck me while I was sitting here; everything changes but the sea." There is a season to everything, and the timing of change is usually not within our control. Looking back, you will likely realize that you also had no say when that particular relationship or situation began. C.A. Dowler is a career and business mentor. In talking about her process of letting go, she points out: "As I had no control over when and how that wonderful thing came into my life, I have no right to now hold on to it when it's ready to go." There IS a gap in your life. What you feel is the absence of what you had before. Yet it is only through acceptance that you can let in the new, whether it's another person or set of circumstances. · Embrace the New When a toddler reaches for something different, she can easily drop the thing she was holding. Releasing is something we are able to do naturally, but as we grow older we learn to hang on tight. Part of the reason is our longing for the familiar and our fear of the unknown. We don't know what lies around the next corner, or if we can ever again find the happiness we see ourselves losing. It takes courage to really let go. You have to trust that what is now coming into your life is what you most need. Then take a deep breath, and let yourself turn another page. Copyright © 2003 by Thelma Mariano About The Author Thelma Mariano, life coach and author, is dedicated to bringing clarity and direction to people's lives. See her on-line coaching programs, articles and column at http://www.u-unlimited.ca.
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MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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