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Nothing To Celebrate
Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 12, 2002 I came across your column by accident. Boy, was it impeccable timing. I am sitting here writing you on my anniversary weekend. Home alone, while my husband is on a three day golf fling with his buddies. I have cried for two days. This is a reality check for me, knowing our problems through 23 years are still there even after counseling. Should I be crying, or is it time to get out? And did I mention he spent New Year's Eve at a basketball game while I stayed home alone? I know most golfers would not want to give up a weekend with their buddies, but does a truly happy man give up the invitation for the sake of his wife? I am a person who feels, thinks, then decides. My husband is a person who thinks, decides, then feels. Josey Josey, with tears in her eyes, a woman told us this story. She and her husband planned a cruise with another couple. Their 25th wedding anniversary fell in the middle of the cruise. When the other couple couldn't make it, her husband canceled their reservations also. In her heart, this is what she felt. "I love you. I want to go on this trip even more now. We can have a second honeymoon." But she didn't speak up. She thought he should know her feelings, but her silence confirmed what he did. Sometimes couples run in so many directions at once, they get off course. Then a simple, open statement of feelings can clarify things. If your husband's disconnection was unintentional, it suggests one course of action. If it was done with the knowledge or intention to hurt you, it suggests another. Wayne A Covey Of Counselors Last year I cheated on my girlfriend and she found out. It was awful. We broke up and I undertook therapy, which was a great thing for me to do. She was and continues to be in therapy, and she is a therapist herself. When we got back together, we were very codependent. It seems we were not totally able to rebuild trust. Though we traveled and practically lived together the last few months, we also got into criticism wars about the most stupid things. Last month she found a job. I criticized her for not committing more to our relationship and for spending too much time working. She became attracted to her boss. This guy, who has offered her lots of money not to leave, values her professionally. A week ago she broke up with me. At first she said it has nothing to do with her job, then she admitted she had strong feelings for her boss. Now they have already spent nights together. I am devastated. I am currently unemployed and living at my mother's, and he is older and successful. I really love her and want her back. I have a wild hope this is all about getting even and that she will come back to me in time. Mac Mac, I have a wild hope this is all about you getting your life together. What you need to focus on is getting a job, standing on your own two feet, and paying your own bills. You're clinging to a relationship in which you are in therapy, your girlfriend is in therapy, she is a therapist, and she is sleeping with her boss, a therapist. Maybe, just maybe, therapy isn't going to save this relationship. You are jobless and dependent on your mother. Being with your girlfriend would be a definite step up for you, but if you were pursuing a career and lived in a place of your own, the world would look different to you. Right now you are looking for a relationship to help you out of your hole. You need to focus on helping yourself out of the hole. Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News Palm Unveils New 'Nova' Software, 'Palm Pre' Phone - CNNMoney.com
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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