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For Old Times Sake
Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 19, 2002 I am currently going through a divorce, and we've been negotiating the terms of the settlement for a year and a half without agreement. I have started a relationship with another woman, but I'm in a saddening, irresponsible situation that was mischievously planned by the ex. About four months ago I went to the ex's to pick up our two young children. She begged me to have sex with her one last time, and she swore she would leave me alone forever if I did this. She desperately begged, begged, and begged. I told her it was over. I told her it didn't make any sense. But I was a stupid irresponsible idiot and gave into her, thinking I would get rid of her once and for all. Right after, I knew I'd made another stupid mistake. About a month later, in an odd and happy manner, she told me she was pregnant. Under the circumstances I thought she should be devastated. I'm angry because I know she planned this to make me go back to her. That couldn't be further from what I want. Outside of this incident, I hadn't touched her in over a year. This mistake happened only because I wanted her to leave me alone forever as she promised. I know I'm partly to blame because no one put a gun to my head. If this child is mine, I will pay for my legal responsibilities. Anyway, I want to grow in my relationship with this other woman. I have known her for six years, and we connect on all levels. But I've lost her trust. She wants to be with me, but she is having a difficult time in getting through this and I don't blame her. Teddy Teddy, begging for sex one last time for old time's sake sounds suspiciously like something a man would say. It is not in a woman's repertoire. An alarm should have gone off in your head, the one that says the world has suddenly turned upside down. Even in a situation which was totally unreal you acted like a caveman. The last thing you are going to get from a woman who begs for unprotected sex one last time is left alone. Revenge, pay backs, and blackmail maybe. But left alone? Never. You ignored the alarms about your wife, and you ignored the alarms about ruining your new relationship. I understand why your girlfriend has a problem with this. The story itself sounds like a male fantasy. Your girlfriend put herself in an emotionally vulnerable situation because she didn't wait until you were divorced before getting so deeply involved. What makes it doubly worse for her is that, because of your children, she has no guarantee you won't be "begged" again by your wife. This isn't going to end for her. Because of your children, she can't tell you never to see that woman again. Your girlfriend may very well decide this is not something she is going to be able to endure. It's for her to decide. You showed a lack of character. This is really about doing the right thing in each moment. Tamara Doing The Math My boyfriend purchased a house three years ago for $380,000. He put $20,000 down. He plans to refinance for $400,000. He plans an addition to the house for $50,000. How much should I pay to become equal partner? Cornelia Cornelia, this sounds like one of those algebra word problems I could never solve. If John is twice as old as Ted, and Roberto is five years older than John, how old is Ted's twin, Chris? Algebra always confused me, but in this case I think I know the answer. Buying a home with a boyfriend usually turns into a legal problem . Until your status is more permanent, find another way to invest in real estate. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News CNET News Daily Podcast: Say hello to the Palm Pre - CNET News
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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