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Reality Check
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 16, 2002 Two years ago I made the greatest mistake of my life. I started dating a coworker. She is this beautiful young girl that totally captivated my world when I met her. As time went by I realized we have almost nothing in common, including music, food, sports, movies, and outdoor activities, to name just a few. Worst of all, there is no passion between us. Furthermore, I do not feel welcomed at her house, and I don't fit within her circle of friends for two reasons. I'm seven years older and come from South America. Although I learned to speak English, I have difficulties saying what's on my mind, and when I mispronounce a word, I become the clown of the crowd. When I mention how we aren't meant for each other, she becomes very emotional and begs me not to finish it. You may wonder, what's the big deal, just break it up if it's not working. I don't find that easy. We not only work in the same place, but she sits next to me. I have the kind of job that comes only once in a lifetime. It would be hard to quit, but it would be hard to break up and see each other unless I quit. She is a wonderful girl, but we aren't meant for each other. It hurts me more than anything when she asks if I love her and I lie through my teeth. What a mess, eh? Javier Javier, you have nothing in common, there is no spark between you, and her friends belittle you. That is the reality. She wants the relationship to continue. That is unreality. An ancient prayer says "lead me from the unreal to the real." That statement applies to everything, including relationships. The relationship you two have is not a job relationship. It is a personal relationship. You don't need to give up your job over this, but if you don't act, what happens will come back to haunt you. Accept that there will be some discomfort at work for awhile. Your letter reminds us of so many others. One man told us he just needed a date to a fraternity party. He inched toward marriage with a woman he didn't love, and they created two children. A woman recounted how she begged her mom, when her suitor called, "Tell him I'm not here!" They married and had four children. Each marriage ended in divorce. Each divorce was initiated by the person who wanted the marriage. Realize that a person who prolongs a relationship you don't want, will leave the relationship when they no longer want it. That is the path you are on. Wayne and Tamara The First Step If a guy sees or knows a girl he fancies, and if he is a bit shy in asking her out, is there any other way he could do it? Paul Paul, inaction turns things into monsters when they are not. Vacillation, fantasy and worry immobilize us, but doing a thing resolves a thing. Each day millions of guys ask girls out. Sometimes the girl says yes, sometimes no. Either way, the world keeps turning. The playing field is more level than you realize. You may be hesitant to ask, but girls often feel stuck, waiting to be asked. We are never guaranteed the end result. We won't know what will happen until we act. That's life. Part of getting the job is going to the interview. Part of scoring the goal is taking the field. Part of getting the girl is asking the girl. You could send flowers and a note, but why not be direct? Clean your slate and move forward. You're not asking for a kidney or a pint of blood, just a date. Taking action sets you on the path to success, whether this particular girl says yes or no. Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News CNET News Daily Podcast: Say hello to the Palm Pre - CNET News
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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