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Maternal Instincts
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 14, 2002 I am a woman in her mid-60s whose husband passed away, and I do not want to enter into a relationship with another man. I have no family in town other than my daughter. I always counted on the fact she would be around for me in my older years. However, I recently discovered she may be moving eight hours away to live with her boyfriend. How can my daughter behave so unlovingly and selfishly? I always helped her when she was in trouble. How can she treat me this badly? I have threatened to disown her if she moves away. What can I do to change her mind? Minerva Minerva, don't enter this letter in a "Mother of the Year" contest. I don't mean to be completely unsympathetic, but where is the sense of love a mother should feel for her daughter? You are threatening your daughter as if she has done something wrong. All she has done is fall in love with a man. This is a small world. With telephones, airplanes and the Internet, eight hours isn't far away. Your daughter is a single woman looking for her companion. Just because you aren't interested for yourself, doesn't mean she should be put in the same position. You aren't looking at this from the right direction. Instead of having just a daughter, you could be gaining a son-in-law and an extended family. We don't threaten the people we love. If we open our heart, we find joy. Close our heart, and we find more isolation than we could possibly imagine. Your attitude so far indicates your daughter has made the right decision. Tamara True Companions I've fallen out with someone I regarded as a close friend of 10 years. My friend and an ex-boyfriend had an hour-long telephone call discussing my personal life with him. This boyfriend is a possessive so-and-so I ended up having to call the police about. I couldn't believe someone I trusted would do such a thing. We didn't speak for months. Eventually she said she was sorry, though our friendship cooled a bit. A few weeks later she rings and falsely accuses me of stealing another girl's boyfriend. Again, I forgave her. The next month I had surgery on my knee. Two days later she sent me a text message asking me to go out. I told her I was on crutches and couldn't go, but she was more than welcome to visit for the evening. I got a mobile text message calling me selfish and saying it was true what my ex said about me. I tried to call her but she wouldn't answer the phone. I sent a message back saying if she wasn't going to speak to me, then stop sending nasty messages. Now she's sent a letter asking if I've been sending her mobile text messages from someone else's phone. Like I've got nothing better to do! I haven't answered her, but part of me desperately misses our friendship. Most of my single friends have paired off or moved away, and I'm finding it incredibly hard to make new friends to trust. Elisa Elisa, your friend sounds more like a tormentor. If you reestablish contact with her, in 10 weeks your life will seem even more chaotic than it does now. What if you used those 10 weeks to change a few patterns in your life? Perhaps you could change your phone number and where you go out. You could join a short class on doing macramé or throwing pots. Or you could go to the café inside the bookstore where they discuss books. Then 10 weeks from now you will not only have learned something, but will probably have a new best friend, perhaps a woman wise about human affairs. Small decisions about who we spend time with make huge differences in our quality of life. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
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MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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