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Playing With Fire
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 21, 2002 I am a stay-at-home mom, 24, married to my husband, 26, for six years. He has a problem chatting with young girls online. I have "caught" him numerous times, and it's always the same thing. He's sorry and says it's only a game to him, but he continues to do it. He works with a high school program and knows these girls in real life. I've recorded his conversations, and they are very disturbing. He likes the attention, and for some reason teenage girls are attracted to him, never mind he's 10 years older and married with children. Recently I read a conversation in which he told a girl the only reason he's married is because I got pregnant, which is true. He says we are best friends, and eventually we will "move on" when the time is right. This was news to me. I confronted him, and he said he only said those things because he knew I was spying on him and wanted me to come forward. I don't believe that. I don't think he knew I read his messages. I believe that is the way he feels. He tells me constantly he loves me and is never mean in any other way. He says it's an escape for him. In a way I believe it, but I cannot forget what he said about our marriage. If that's how he feels, why does he want to stay? Jewell Jewell, when your husband said he wrote something provocative to make you come forward, it's a little like saying he wanted a policeman to come forward so he began to speed. It doesn't hold water. The question is what is real and what is fantasy. Your husband is playing an escalating game with real people who are too young for him to be playing with. He hasn't stopped because there aren't escalating consequences. He is casting his net wide, hitting on these girls, waiting for something to happen. He is taking a chance one of them will print out what he says and pass it around. Even more threatening, sooner or later he is going to find the one he cannot resist. Meanwhile, the young girls get a chance to try out their sexuality on an adult male. For most it will just be practice. For one of them, it is likely to be the real thing. If you don't present him with serious reasons for stopping, that is where his behavior is likely to lead. Your husband is toying with the pin on a hand grenade. If you can't get him to put it down, you need to get out of the blast zone. Wayne & Tamara Song And Dance Why is sex so public? Why is it used as a marketing tool? I just don't get it. I throw up at the sight and sound of this garbage. What happened to the good old days when sex was private, shared between two people, and never spoken about in public? I miss them, and I wasn't even alive then. Briana Briana, human beings are built to respond rapidly to things involving fear, food, sex, approval, and authority. There are people, companies, and institutions who know this and stand to gain by pushing our buttons. They don't care about us. They care about their own agenda. Wisdom comes from understanding our own hot buttons and detaching ourselves from self-serving messages. Just because we live in a certain time doesn't mean we can't stand apart from that time. Instead of reacting to every message and letting people push our buttons, we need to ask, Who will gain if I act on this message? Until we understand that, we are like a willow whipped by a wind stirred by others. After we understand that, we are like the sedate oak barely moved by even the strongest winds. Wayne & Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News Palm Unveils New 'Nova' Software, 'Palm Pre' Phone - CNNMoney.com
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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