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Without Love
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 30, 2002 Kendra and I have been dating almost six years. For the past three years I have constantly asked myself if she is the one. I can never come up with the answer. I fantasize about being with other women, and it is not because Kendra lacks beauty. I feel disinterested in intimacy with her, but it was not like that in the beginning. If you asked me three years ago I would have told you I was not missing out on anything. Now that cannot be true. I guess the biggest problem in my mind's eye is time. Because we have been together for so long, I'm not sure if I am just staying out of convenience. I am accepted by her family, she is accepted by mine, and our friends think we suit each other perfectly. I asked my mother about her relationship with my father. She explained they were each other's best friend. They share the same goals and that works for them. I asked if their sex life was still strong. My mom said they don't have it nearly as much as in the past, but that it still happens on occasion. Just recently I went away for a month to work out of the country and met Lissete. We connected on many levels. I promised her I would end things with Kendra when I returned home, and at first I felt great about my decision. In the course of a month Lissete and I made plans for her to come here from Holland. Then one morning I awoke from a nightmare and felt sick to my stomach. I felt I made a mistake. I felt sick the entire day until I got the nerve to call Kendra. She agreed to meet. Suddenly I was quick to make things work with Kendra, and we decided to give it a second try. I told Kendra about Lissete. She was upset, of course, but understood it was over in my head. Now here I am, one month later. The first few weeks were great, but I feel us slipping back to where we were. I can only think of the other girl. Lissete was heartbroken and tried to warn me this would happen, but I wouldn't listen. Now I don't know what to do. Kendra will never break up with me, leaving me to do the dirty work if it has to be done. Who is to say I wouldn't have the same sex boredom problem with the other woman. Once again I find myself asking if I should just marry this woman who loves me to death and go on with life. Ward Ward, whoa! Can you hear what you're saying? Things were not right with Kendra so you ended it. You felt you deserved better. Then things were wonderful with Lissete until you felt the burden of her arrival. Getting back together with Kendra was the easiest way to prevent that, but breaking up again is not dirty work. It is solving a problem you created. People say the grass is always greener on the other side, but that is not quite right. It is only when things are wrong in our own yard that the other side looks more inviting. What gives things value is our emotional attachment to them. It is what makes a job not a job but a calling. But without that emotional connection things always get boring. Without love there is no lasting passion. What you love you can do again and again, never getting bored. It isn't boring to be with someone you really love. If your passion is horses, you never get bored with horses. The movie you love, you have seen more times than you can count. But movies which are no more than special effects are boring. There is nothing to care about. Wayne & Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News CNET News Daily Podcast: Say hello to the Palm Pre - CNET News
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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