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A Bad Move
Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 7, 2003 My husband is a wonderful man, we are in our thirties, well-educated and fairly affluent. However, his mother has been a stumbling block in our relationship from the start. While we dated, I thought I would surprise him on his birthday with dinner at a swanky restaurant and a movie. I dolled up in a black velvet dress, hair and make-up just right, and he was dressed up, too. Before leaving, he asked to stop off and check on his mother. She was in a sweat suit, knit cap, house dress and tennis shoes. She looked like a bag lady. To make a long story short, she pitched a fit to go with us. I should have figured it out then, but I kept thinking things would change. They haven't. She belittles me and is very demanding of my husband's time. He sees her during his lunch hour, spends 45 minutes each night on the phone with her, and includes her in our weekend errands. This gal could give a good shrink enough work to buy several Mercedes. Talking to her is out of the question. I could reason with a doorknob more effectively. To make matters worse, we are moving next door to his parent's home and adopting our first child in a few months. I feel myself becoming more distant from my husband. I'm thinking about throwing myself into my small business, becoming more involved in the community, and doing church activities to carve out a life for myself away from him and his mother. Monique Monique, you're moving next door? Did you have a say in this? That can only give you more of what you didn't want in the first place. If she is bad now, wait until your mother-in-law has her son's child nearby. Dealing with this woman is like a deep-sea fisherman playing a large fish. You need to keep a constant drag on the reel and never permit slack in the line. Without your husband's help, it will be impossible. It is time to tell your husband to choose between you and your child, and his mommy. In choosing you, he can have you and his mom--his mom within reason and you completely. In choosing his mom, that is all he will ever have because she does not want him to have anyone else. Tamara Bare Bones My in-laws live 20 yards away. My mother-in-law is in our home every single day. Last Sunday while the children were away, my mother-in-law walked in the door, found my husband walking around nude, and they had a great laugh. She stayed for an hour drinking wine. She knew what she walked into because I told her why we sent the children out. I begged my husband to move away three years ago. He said for the first time in his life his parents have finally accepted him, so how could he leave? As you can imagine, his parents managed to take away a huge trust fund his grandfather left him. I support the family, and my mother-in-law says this is how it should be. She says, "The working class has always supported the aristocracy." I am exhausted and feel fat and ugly, though I am not. I realize there is not much you can say other than think of yourself and your children, and get out. Adeline Adeline, in Ernest Hemingway's "The Old Man and The Sea," an old fisherman catches a huge fish and lashes it to the side of his skiff. As he sails home, sharks attack and tear off great chunks of flesh. He is powerless to prevent it. By the time he reaches port, there is nothing left of his great fish but the head, bill, and backbone. Life with an emotionally dependent husband gives you only the skeleton of marriage without the substance of marriage. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News CNET News Daily Podcast: Say hello to the Palm Pre - CNET News
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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