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Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 2, 2003 I am a father of three teenagers. The older boy and girl are obedient, good at their studies, and helpful around the home. My problem is with my youngest daughter, who is 16. Wayne and Tamara, she is a beautiful child, and I know she is popular with her youthful friends. But I have been insisting that she obey the rules of my home and also take her studies seriously. I have a good job, and I spend most of my money on my children. I also give them weekly allowances, most of which I insist that they save. I ensure they are fed and clothed properly. Recently I had to ground my last daughter because of her rebellious and disrespectful attitude. I lost my temper and slapped her. She screamed that she will run away from home, and I will be sorry. Wayne and Tamara, as a loving father that threat scared me. Do you think I have been too harsh or overly strict with her? Gene Gene, four years ago you were much as you are now. Four years ago your daughter was a child of 12, and four years from now she will be a woman of 20. For you, the clock is racing forward; for a 16-year-old who wants to act 18 or 20, the weekend seems like an eternity away. As an adult, you know how important the next four years can be. Running with the wrong crowd, drugs and alcohol, pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases could alter her future in a way she will still be dealing with 20 or 30 years from now. You know a mistake could alter her entire future; she thinks there is plenty of time for everything, including mistakes. Like all teenagers, she believes "it can't happen to me." As an adult, you know it can. Your daughter needs one foot firmly planted in the day-to-day reality which will build her future, and one foot free to have some fun and enjoy the once-in-a-lifetime experience of being 16. Children make mistakes and so do adults. You made a mistake when you slapped her. Sit down with your daughter, admit your mistake, and apologize. Explain to her that your mistake came from your fears. If you do that, you won't be showing her that you are weak; you will be showing her that you are human. You wrote us out of your love and concern for your daughter. Share that with her. Let her know that you will work to control your realistic fears, if she will help not to set them off. Tamara Foot In The Door My wife and I are experiencing conflict over the issue of smoking. We are both nurses. I have said I don't want to start trying to have a baby until she stops smoking. She says she will stop when she knows for sure she is pregnant. We are both well aware of the damage smoking can do to the fetus, even in the beginning phases of pregnancy. She has a smoking cessation program at her job, but lately she says I am just trying to control her. We are far apart on this issue, and I don't see any easy answer. Ronan Ronan, your wife is telling you just how strong her addiction is. Even knowing the risks to her fetus, she is planning to smoke during part of her pregnancy. Her addiction already has a toehold into her pregnancy. She is being controlled not so much by you as by her addiction to smoking. You are trying to come between her and her cigarettes, so her addiction is pointing the finger at you. Once she has the stress, emotions, and hormonal changes of pregnancy, it may be all the excuse she needs to continue. The only power you have is to make sure a pregnancy does not occur. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News CNET News Daily Podcast: Say hello to the Palm Pre - CNET News
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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