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A Brick Wall
Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 18, 2003 Two years ago I divorced, and there is still a lot of hostility. My former husband has been served with contempt papers for not paying child support. He says I am sending him to the poorhouse, but I have no recourse but to contact the court when the payments stop. He continues to blame me, even though two judges have explained it is the court which determines when contempt charges are filed. My children require the necessities of life, which I provide, but he says the children are my responsibility and not to contact him, even if they become ill. He only interacts with them on scheduled weekends, and many times the weekends are cut short. The home he purchased with his girlfriend includes a built-in swimming pool and two Jacuzzis. Last summer he asked me how it feels to work, and he explained he makes enough money his girlfriend gets to sit by the pool all summer. His girlfriend looks like a glittering Christmas tree with all the jewelry she wears. I have tried to talk to him, but he says he is not listening and then belittles me. He buys food and clothing for his girlfriend's children, but he tells me I have messed up our children's lives and dress them in rags. That is not true. They are really great kids doing well in school. I need some ideas how to try and talk to him to get my point across. How do I communicate my concerns to him? Marlene Marlene, you have communicated your concerns to him. He doesn't care. Your ex-husband doesn't want to support any woman he is not sleeping with, or her children. Your children have lost a father figure because their father does not see himself as their father. There is another danger here. Children often respect the bad parent and respond to what that parent wants, while disrespecting the good parent. It is not simply that they pick up the difficult parent's attitude; they think by placating him they will get a father response out of him. But the end result is they may blame you. Don't waste time thinking you will ever get through to this man. You are being emotionally battered and so are your children, which is a good reason to minimize contact with him. His obligation to his children comes from the state in the same way the state determines which side of the road to drive on or when to pay taxes. Let the state enforce this obligation and don't explain or apologize for it. Wayne & Tamara Overreaction My best friend lives across the street. Her daughter and mine play together all the time. Our husbands are best of friends, and we watch over each other's home when we are out of town. When she got a part-time job, I started baby sitting her daughter. I had an interview one evening and left my daughter and hers with my husband. I was gone one hour. The next day she called me and told me all of a sudden she doesn't trust my husband with her daughter. My husband is an elementary school teacher and loves children. This has upset me and hurt my feelings. She doesn't call now, and I wish I knew what she was thinking. Should I call first? Christa Christa, your neighbor is mad, and the question is why. If something actually occurred, she likely would have acted immediately. She could be angry because for an hour she didn't know who was watching her child, or because you didn't share news of your interview with her. For the former, you can apologize. Tell her you didn't think. Your husband watches children more than you do, and it didn't dawn on you to let her know. Finally, don't put yourself or your husband in this position with her again. Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News Palm Unveils New 'Nova' Software, 'Palm Pre' Phone - CNNMoney.com
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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