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Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 5, 2004 I am a captain in the Marine Corps. A year ago my wife cheated on me with another Marine. He lived in an apartment facing ours, which I passed every day on my way to work. She was my girlfriend at the time, and she told me because she felt guilty about it. She said it only happened once. She said she never talked to the guy again except to tell him to leave her alone. I married her even after I found out because I love her and because I feel everyone deserves a second chance. I hold a lot of anger inside about it, especially since I worked on the same base with him. He left a little while ago for another assignment, and the apartment is empty now. My question is how do you stop thinking about it? I picture it in my mind like a broken record. I don't want to keep hounding my wife over this. I want to get over it and move on. But I just get kind of sick when I think of his hands on her. I wonder if she will do it again, and I wonder if I am not good enough, especially in bed. To be honest, I don't know why she cheated other than she was unhappy about money and about moving to a new base. She stated she wanted him from the minute she saw him and he was the best looking man she had ever seen. I am so insecure over this it is unreal. I have never and would never cheat. Monty Monty, forty years ago Roy Orbison sang, "It breaks your heart in two, To know she's been untrue." Today Puddle of Mudd sings, "?have to find a way to take the knife out of my back." Forty years from now someone else will be singing the same story, and it will sound like the same old broken record. Even when you no longer see this man's empty apartment, looking at your wife will be a reminder of what happened. The who, when, and where don't matter. What matters is that no reason she gave you justifies cheating. What matters is that you rewarded the one who caused you pain with a wedding. Now you have made the pain a full-time part of your life. She gave you a losing ticket, and you gave her the prize. Your anger is simply the other side of the fear she will do it again. You tried to avoid the pain of losing her, but once she was unfaithful, she was already gone. You needed to work through that pain and move on with someone who would be faithful. The title of Roy Orbison's 1964 song, "It's Over," holds your answer. Tamara Rewiring Our divorce will be final in five weeks. My wife blames me for everything which went wrong in our relationship, and I admit some things were my fault. However, in the time we were together she never once said she was sorry or understood where I was coming from. Foolishly I still feel obligated to her. She calls and asks me for favors. She starts talking nicely, then tells me what a horrible person I am. I leave these conversations feeling emotionally and spiritually drained. I don't want to say hurtful things to her, yet I need this to stop. I guess part of me still hopes for reconciliation. Ozzie Ozzie, your wires are crossed. Abuse and love are opposites. Once you uncross your wires it will change your whole perspective. It will shed light on new relationships as well as your old one. For the next five weeks, to thy old self be true. Once the divorce is final, change your phone number. Your wife has given you a great gift, the chance to discover what love actually is. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News CNET News Daily Podcast: Say hello to the Palm Pre - CNET News
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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