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Duplicity
Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 26, 2004 We've been married 20 years. In order to spice up our sex life we would occasionally share fantasies, and one that seemed to turn us both on involved my wife with me and another man. This remained a fantasy until recently when we had drinks with a photographer who specializes in "boudoir photography." Probably as a result of too much wine I asked if he would take photos of my wife, and he agreed. On the day of the photo session my wife asked me what she should do as she was nervous. I conveyed to her she was to lose her inhibitions and enjoy the experience. The shoot took place at midday, and I could not be there. Afterwards she told me the photo session had been a success. She and the photographer shared a bottle of wine, and in the course of the session she'd learned much about posing properly. She went on to say she and the photographer participated in a whole gamut of sex acts she really enjoyed since he had unlimited stamina. She said she hoped I felt good since she had gone along with it for me. She says she loves me more than ever and will not ever do this again. Her subsequent actions support this. Although I helped to arrange it, I am unable to stop thinking of the whole episode. I want to get over it and move on, but I'm losing sleep big time. John John, in one of Mozart's operas, an older man bets two younger ones their sweethearts are fickle. As part of the bet, the two younger men are to pretend to be called away, then return in disguise and try to seduce the women. The older man is confident the women will not be faithful; the young men are equally confident they will be. While the plot is hokey, it flirts with a great truth. Our deepest desire is for someone who wants only us. What you really want is for your wife to say and mean, "You are the only one I could ever make love to." That is the sexier thing and the deeper desire. You didn't understand your sexual fantasy would override your deeper desire. In your head you controlled the outcome. In actuality, you controlled nothing. You didn't fantasize your feelings would turn out like this. But in the letters we receive, one or both parties is always revolted by the outcome. Your wife was not true to your fantasy. You weren't there, and that is why you feel she is mollifying you. But even if you had been there, your feelings would likely be the same. We never, ever, recommend intimate relationships with more than one person. In the letters we receive, the outcome is always what you describe. Wayne & Tamara Diminished Capacity Last month my boyfriend of eight years and I hosted a New Year's Eve party. After I was completely and utterly drunk, my boyfriend and best friend took me into the bedroom with plans to have a threesome. We discussed this before but not thoroughly. My somewhat sober boyfriend had sex with her. Apparently (I don't remember much) I approved. Now I am heartbroken. Everything that was so special between us is gone. I look at him with disgust because of the things they did. I am so ashamed this happened. I don't know if I'll ever get over this. Audra Audra, we get more letters about sexual jealousy than about any other topic. This is the most intimate act you can do with another person. Most people cannot tolerate even the suggestion there is someone else in their partner's life. The third, fourth, fifth, or sixteenth person in an intimate relationship dilutes and devalues the relationship. When the relationship is no longer mutually exclusive, the boundaries are lost, and usually, so is the relationship. Wayne & Tamara About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News CNET News Daily Podcast: Say hello to the Palm Pre - CNET News
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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