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Myth And Reality
Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 2, 2004 I am at a complete loss about what to do with my mother-in-law to be. In a nutshell, she's verbally abusive. She treats my fiance like a child, and yet he is 30. She calls me stupid. He has put up with this behavior all his life and won't stand up to her. I love my fiance, but if this is how it's going to be the rest of our lives, I'm having second thoughts. She's an unreasonable person who throws a fit whenever people don't do things her way. I've done my best to keep peace with her. I treat her kindly and do my utmost to be respectful and listen to her. I know I need to be more assertive and set some boundaries, in a kind manner of course. I believe in treating others with respect no matter the difficulty of the situation. Sadly, she could care less about others' feelings. My fiance's a wonderful guy, but how do I deal with his mom? When we announce our engagement, she's going to go ballistic. Danielle Danielle, in mythology Venus was Psyche's mother-in-law. Venus decreed she would not accept Psyche as a daughter-in-law unless she performed several preposterous tasks. Great quantities of wheat, lentils, peas, poppy seeds, barley, and millet were mixed together, and Psyche had to sort them by nightfall. Aided by an army of ants, Psyche did it. Another task required Psyche to fetch water from a mountain spring guarded by dragons. Again Psyche succeeded, this time helped by an eagle. You are writing to us as if we command magical power. We don't. You want to treat this woman as you have been, yet you want her to change. The first time "stupid" came out of her mouth the issue should have been addressed. Ground rules need to be set from the start. Pretend you are her. Why should she change? You treat her with respect . She is doing a better job of teaching you than you are of teaching her. Turning the other cheek is not appropriate because it will not stop or correct her behavior. When the food is unpalatable, you send it back to the chef. Have your boyfriend agree to stay on the sidelines, then confront his mother each time she crosses the line of acceptable behavior. If this problem isn't solved before you marry, heed your second thoughts. Tamara Sight Unseen I can't believe I'm writing for advice, but I think the time has come. I have been intimately involved with my lover for two years. She has been in a relationship with another woman for eight years. Needless to say, I am the other woman in her life. I am at the point where I want to end our relationship. My problem is I don't know how. We started out as friends and have had so many fun times together I'm scared of losing that. I don't want to hurt her, but I am mature and wise enough to know the entire situation seems to be a lost cause. My lover tells me I am trying to put a time limit on when we will be together, but after two years I feel I have the right to know what the future holds for me but there are no answers. Susannah Susannah, Tamara often says, "What most letters boil down to is the letter writer is unwilling to do the hard thing." There's no point in giving you an answer because you already know the answer. But the right answer is the hard thing. When a relationship is going nowhere, you need to end it. Continuing takes away the opportunity of finding the right person. In addition, ending a wrong relationship gives you the courage to end wrong relationships in the future. It is hard to choose uncertainty, but that is where potential happiness lies. Wayne About The Author Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com. Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News CNET News Daily Podcast: Say hello to the Palm Pre - CNET News
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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