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The Bright Side of Loneliness
Recently a romantic relationship came to an end and I found myself alone again. The minutes, the hours now felt empty. For three weeks I sat beside a silent phone, rehashing the past and coming to terms with my loss. After the warmth and intimacy of love, my loneliness felt like a great abyss that I could not escape. I do not allow myself to indulge in self-pity - so my next reaction was to ask "what now?" Looking back, I saw that I had invested so much time and energy in the relationship that I had grown lax about undertaking new projects or meeting new people. My first step was to join a Friday evening discussion group, which I found very stimulating. I also prepared and delivered two new workshops to help people find their life purpose and make money doing what they loved. In giving these I again recognized what I had to offer the community (encouragement, experience and insight) and was buoyed by the positive response from participants. Everyone feels lonely sometimes. It's part of being human! However we cannot afford to become paralyzed by a sense of isolation. We all need to connect - both to ourselves and to the world around us. What does your loneliness tell you? What is it that you miss? You may believe that a love partner will fulfill all your needs. However the intensity that marks the beginning of a relationship doesn't last; with luck, it will change into something deeper. The two of you will again be drawn into your individual lives. If you don't feel connected to what you are doing or to the people around you, you are likely to feel lonely again. Here are my suggestions for dealing with loneliness: · Get involved with others Have time on your hands? Offer your services at a soup kitchen, read stories to children, or play cheerful tunes on the piano at the seniors' residence. What do you know or are good at? Perhaps you can do like me and give a workshop in your area of expertise. There's no room for loneliness when you give freely of yourself - and you will receive love and appreciation in return. If you're a computer buff, there are communities of people on the Net who want to share their interests, from dating to rug hooking. Especially for the housebound, regular e-mail friends can be a great solace. · Do something you love Limit your television viewing, push yourself off the couch and engage in something that you really enjoy! Maybe you haven't roller-skated in years and going to the local rink makes you come alive. Bake your favourite pie and share it with a friend, or learn how to do the lambada. The problem is that many of us don't ALLOW ourselves to do what we love. We tell ourselves, I'll do it when? (I meet the love of my life, become more successful, finish all these chores). Do it NOW and you will feel better for it. · Connect with nature I never feel lonely when I go for a long walk by the river. I have a thing for water: ocean, lake or streams. Feel your connection to nature - whether you plant a row of petunias or take a leisurely walk in the park. · Journal for self-expression When there's no one around to talk to, and I feel the need, I journal in a small notebook in longhand, letting deeper thoughts and feelings emerge from my subconscious. I write about my preoccupations as well as my hopes and fears. You cannot enjoy being alone without peace of mind. Journaling helps you to voice and resolve any inner conflicts that you have. Doing it on a regular basis will give you clarity and focus. It's a good way to connect with your inner self. · Realize that you are NOT alone Do you know that most of the world is feeling lonely at this very moment? Think of the new neighbour on your street, a foreign student in your class, or the man who just joined your company. Each of them wonders how he or she will make friends. Be the first to give a warm welcome. Whatever your faith or beliefs, connecting with a Higher Force through prayer or meditation will also dispel feelings of isolation. A little too much solitude spurs me to reach out to those around me. On my nature walk yesterday, I met a woman. As we both watched kayakers ride the rapids, we struck up a conversation - ranging from our experience with water sports to where we grew up and what we enjoyed about the waterfront. At the end we both went our separate ways, parting with a smile and a wave. I've learned to appreciate the little exchanges that make life so much fuller. Loneliness makes me feel painfully alive and aware that I cannot afford to get complacent. It compels me to do more, to be more. And that isn't such a bad thing, is it? About The Author Thelma Mariano, life coach and author, is dedicated to bringing clarity and direction to people's lives. See her on-line coaching prorams, articles and column at http://www.u-unlimited.ca.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News Palm Unveils New 'Nova' Software, 'Palm Pre' Phone - CNNMoney.com
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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