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Where You Can Find Sympathy
Ask any of my kids and they'll tell you immediately that you'll find it in the dictionary between "sh-" and "syphilis". Wasn't that absolutely cruel and unkind of me to instill in them a nearly total distain for the concept of "sympathy"? With so many individuals in the world suffering in so many ways, how could I possibly be so heartless? I am without a doubt, an uncaring, evil SOB! Well, maybe not. Here are a couple of things to think about. First, I'll give you my definition of sympathy: "A sharing or agreement of feelings with another person". It's not exactly what shows in the dictionary but it's pretty danged close. I know, so what's the problem with that? It's showing caring, compassion and maybe even love isn't it? Hang on for a sec. Let's take a look at another word. "Empathy". Again, here's Gene's definition: "The ability to intellectually identify with and understand the source and manifestation of another's feelings - or situation." See the distinction here between the two words? "Sympathy" basically implies that I'm going to feel your feelings and as a result, experience your mental and emotional disruption. "Empathy" on the other hand, implies that I'm able to logically understand why you feel as you do without subjecting myself to your emotional trauma and expending of energy. How can this distinction affect us personally? Here is look at both sides of the "sympathy" coin. If you're the type of person who has been conditioned (programmed) to consistently look for sympathy from others - for whatever reason, just stop it! Golly, all you're doing is splattering your friends with your yucky feelings and on top of it, you're even asking them to join you in your pity room. Whoopee, won't that be fun? Now you can have other folks whining and moaning right along with you. Turn on some "get-me-down" music too. That'll add significantly to the ambiance at the victim's table. OK, so maybe I got a little carried away in the preceding paragraph, but dang it folks, it's just not fair - much less kind and considerate - to try to shove off our misery on other people. Others have enough burdens without any of their "friends" adding to it. The other side of the coin of course, is our personal willingness to provide our sympathy to our "friends" who are requesting it. To emotionally buy into their difficulties and drain our emotional bank in the process. Why would we ever willingly do that? We have enough stuff to think about without trying to pile any more onto our mental/emotional plates. If you are the type of person who really "feels" the emotions associated with another's problems, you might want to consider transitioning to "empathetic" approach. Try to remove yourself mentally from the personal attachment to whatever might be occurring. This will not only save you lots of emotional wear and tear, but it will likely also give you the ability to perhaps offer more constructive suggestions. Suggestions that just might be able to help your friend move out of the pity room and into a more stable (and enjoyable) environment. So you see, I really wasn't being a cruel, heartless ogre when I told my children where they could find the sympathy they frequently (at least initially) requested from me. Instead, I was encouraging them to face their problems and do whatever was necessary to put them in the past. Seems like a productive way to approach life, don't you think? About The Author Gene, through NuPathz.com, provides an easy reading self-help blog, articles and links along with affordable books and materials written to help folks find the road to a more enjoyable lifestyle, to pass on some of life's "secrets for survival" in a chaotic world & offer a few smiles along the way. It's a down-to-earth, simple approach to discovering a better life. You can visit Gene at http://www.nupathz.com/
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. DailyMe: News tailored to your individual tastes (The Christian Science Monitor) Column: Custom news websites come and go, but this one gets it right. Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. STOCKS NEWS EUROPE-Erdemir shares fall on iron ore prices (Reuters via Yahoo! Malaysia News) STOCKS NEWS Reuters Results diary News Buzz: Recreating the Big Bang, Gates Urges Slow Iraq Drawdown, Ike Gains Strength (US News & World Report) Top news from the Associated Press For consumers, good news down the line (Sun-Sentinel) Whether you buy a new iPod or not, there may be good news for you in Apple's release of new iPods on Tuesday . Fox News Vaults To Top Of Primetime Ratings (MultiChannel News) Who says no one watches political conventions? Fox News Channel?s coverage of GOP Presidential nominee John McCain?s Sept. 4 acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention drew 9.2 million viewers, topping all other basic cable shows last week, according to Nielsen Media Research data. Site: news - Google News CNET News Daily Podcast: Say hello to the Palm Pre - CNET News
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for inspirational Inspirational Experts in Fashion, Cuisine and Lifestyle to Share Tips and Trends at Orange County Head to Toe Women's ... (PRWeb) Southern California's premiere women's consumer show, the Head to Toe Women's Expo returns to OC Fair and Event Center in Costa Mesa, Calif., October 10, 11 and 12, 2008. Presented by Ralphs Grocery, the Head to Toe Women's Expo gives mothers, daughters, and girlfriends a chance to reconnect during a weekend of shopping, pampering, makeovers and inspirational speakers. Several experts, ... http://firepit-plans.com Introduces "The Fire Pit Planner Guide" a Comprehensive Inspirational Guide to Building ... (PRWeb via Yahoo! News) http://firepit-plans.com is a new site that offers a unique do-it-yourself inspirational plan to building fire pits, the guide offers tips and advice on operating and constructing fire pits in the outdoors, house garden or backyard. Reporter's Notebook (Dallas Morning News) Certain parts of Irving City Hall will soon be getting makeovers. Residents and visitors can expect to see inspirational quotes on walls and prominent displays of the city?s mission statement within a couple of months. Bob Walter: Iraq hero gets moving tribute in Elk Grove Park (The Sacramento Bee) For a hero: As if anybody could forget Joe Nurre of Wilton, a fitting and permanent memorial to the inspirational Elk Grove High School football captain is attracting plenty of attention in Elk Grove Park. Joe Nurre A plaque dedicates an Elk Grove barbecue area to Joe Nurre. MCC Honors 9/11 Victims and Families (R News) Monroe Community College hosted a special 9/11 commemorative ceremony at the Remembrance Walk on the Brighton campus. The hour long event included music, inspirational speeches, a moment of silence and flowers placed at the base of the 9/11 monument there. Local review: 'Bill W. and Dr. Bob' entertaining, educational (The Pantagraph) For a gripping evening of theater as educational as it is inspirational, ?Bill W. and Dr. Bob? at Heartland Theatre Company, can?t be beat. Steve Amerson to Sing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Convention (Christian News Wire) DENVER, Sept. 11 / Christian Newswire / -- Steve Amerson, well-known Inspirational music artist will be singing at the Congressional Medal of Honor Society's Annual Convention, A Celebration of Honor, in Denver, Colorado at the "Patriots Award Gala" on Friday, September 19, 2008. Radio pirate suspect arrested in Wilton Manors apartment (Sun-Sentinel) When you tune into FM 103.9 in Broward County , you're supposed to hear a sermon by Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale Pastor Bob Coy or inspirational music from the likes of Mercy Me and Steven Curtis Chapman. Randolph Reads kicks off with celebration (Asheboro Courier-Tribune) ASHEBORO ? A Randolph County initiative to unite the community in reading and discussing an inspirational non-fiction book about a nearby town?s struggles with change is under way. Honor Text Helps Americans to Remember (WCAV Charlottesville) The clock strikes 9:11am and your phone beeps, but it?s not your average text message. Instead, it?s an Honor Text, a brief inspirational message about some of America?s service men and women. Site: inspirational - Google News Gerard Lucien Gaudreau, inspirational speaker - Baltimore Sun
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