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If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)
Banish Loans Forever If ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the very first thing to get rid of would be loans. Absolutely no more loans! Because once they're gone, there wouldn't be any more: - Due dates - Interest charges - at any rate of interest - Late fees or penalties - Liens - Applications or rejections - Credit reports [Old joke - If it weren't for bad credit, I wouldn't have any credit at all] - Playing catch-up month after month And that means all the related emotional frustrations vanish as well. That would certainly make a lot of people happier. Don't you think? Instead of lending money, how about just giving it away? That should make everyone happier still. Imagine a bank saying, "Help yourself - and never worry about paying it back." If it doesn't matter whether money ever gets repaid - there goes accounting and bookkeeping. There goes financial records. There goes debt - along with bad debt. But that's not a stretch for a bank that re-writes the rules. If you thought familiar bank policies were cast in stone, think again. Up with Emotional Solvency - Down with Debt A whimsical bank that just started on the Internet eliminates debt and loans. Won't touch 'um. No way, for nobody. That's because it rates a person's emotional health higher than their financial wealth. This quirky website places more value on emotional solvency than wealth accumulation. Huh? How's that possible? It's the logical (illogical, more like it) outcome of putting feelings first. And its other policies are equally unprecedented and unique. http://www.joyfulbanker.com/goofypoliciesdept.html The Joyful Banker is a parody of all things financial. It just wants to make you happy - and it wants to keep money worries at bay (even if only for a little while). It exists solely to amuse and delight. To make people feel both generous and rich - with access to unlimited money (admittedly funny munny). This site delivers a high level of frivel (wordplay), giggle, and absurdity in the process. People are More Valuable than Money... Really Joyful Banker's avowed purpose is to deliver joy and up-beat energy to all comers. But it can't pull it off without putting money in its rightful place - which isn't first place. Or even second. This is the only bank on the planet devoted to what's really valuable - relationships, generosity, kindness and joy. Joyful Banker is the Mother Lode of Binkle Lore and Wisdom A binkle is the energy that's created when people really connect with each other, with nature, or anything that inspires. It's the zizz of energy one feels. Although the word is new that feeling is not. It's been part of every profound or happy experience you can remember. That sensation is always called something else: love, awe, the thrill, peace, inspiration, etc. But the energy of that moment is binkle energy. This joyous website is devoted to increasing binkle energy in any way possible http://www.joyfulbanker.com/binklepage.html It's not hard to find binkles showing up anywhere - if you're looking for them. Can't have too many. But if you run low, just come beck to fetch some more. Probably should warn you - it's addictive. The zizz of binkle energy keeps you constantly alert for how to get more. And if you can't find any... that's a downer. But a moment of caring and sharing is sure to get them flowing. The Binkle Standard Simplifies Your Life 1. Spend MORE of your time and attention with people (or activities) that give binkles 2. Spend LESS time and attention on people (or activities) that drain binkle energy 3. Pass it around! Leave a trail of binkles wherever you go That's it! But the rewards you feel cannot be exaggerated. Playing "spot the binkle" sure beats a Do List when it comes to banishing stress. Not to mention, it attracts some pretty nice people. There are still a few bugs being worked out. The funny munny is just for fun. Not to knock fun, but you can't use joy bucks to pay the phone bill. Come to the Joyful Banker for Binkles and Joy Anyone who comes to the website has an account (their email address), so can partake in the Unlimited Withdrawals or Open Vault policies. This is one financial institution that won't leave you empty handed. Or empty hearted, either. ©2005, Lynella Grant This is Part 1 of a 5-part series. Read the rest http://www.joyfulbanker.com/articles.html --Lynella Grant The Joyful Banker, a parody of all things financial http://www.joyfulbanker.com The funnest, most joyous fool service non-bank in the world. With unlimited withdrawals. Off the Page Press (719) 395-9450 mailto:banker@joyfulbanker.com
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. Relief: Cubs get good news on Zambrano, Harden (ESPN) The Cubs received encouraging news on pitchers Rich Harden and Carlos Zambrano on Tuesday. False bankruptcy item highlights risks in online news (Market Watch) Investors are getting a fresh lesson in the power and perils of lightning-fast news on the Web in an already fast-moving market. Petraeus to Brief FOX News on Final Battlefield Tour (Fox News) Gen David Petraeus, fresh off an announcement that thousands of U.S. troops will be withdrawn from Iraq, will give his final U.S. interview to FOX News Wednesday before handing over control of U.S.-led forces in Iraq to Gen. Raymond Odierno next week. Lesson 6: Broadcasting news (BBC News) Students practise reading the news and produce a news programme adhering to a strict deadline. UPI NewsTrack Quirks in the News (UPI) Car crash knocks woman off toilet ? Woman uses Feng Shui after car hits home ? Mistakenly diagosed man gives away savings ? Wisconsin man eats 23,000 Big Macs ? UPI Quirks in the News. Lesson 5: Ordering news (BBC News) Students order several reports to make a news programme which appeals to a specific audience. Lesson 3: Writing News (BBC News) Students write a news script which is clear, concise and correct - the three Cs of journalism. Yahoo News Redesign May Pull a Technorati ? Why Not Twitter? (Wired News) Bloggers have uncovered URLs for a new Yahoo News layout which includes a ?Most Blogged? section. The list is presumably based off Buzz Tracker, which displays related blog posts and those that link back to an article. But wouldn't a "Twittered About" section make the site seem more cutting-edge? Site: news - Google News Palm Unveils New 'Nova' Software, 'Palm Pre' Phone - CNNMoney.com
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for humor New play finds humor in horror (Brigham Young NewsNet) 'Bread of Affliction,' a new production by the BYU Experimental Theatre Company, which will run Sept. 12 and 13, demonstrates how the Jewish people have survived many things largely through the power of humor. 'Whole lotta kid' kept humor despite cancer (Miami Herald) From the minute he was born, on Nov. 22, 1995, at 8.2 pounds, Bailey Blu Kayes was ``a whole lotta kid.'' He was, said his mother, Nicole Bailey, ``all energy -- running full speed, nonstop.'' TenantReports.com Injects a Sense of Humor into the Housing Market Amidst Credit Crisis (PRWeb) The mortgage meltdown makes tenant screening more important than ever for independent real estate investors. Real estate services site, www.TenantReports.com , aims to educate landlords on effectively screening potential tenants, while bringing a smile to those wrought with anxiety or fear of foreclosure at the thought of taking on tenants who can't pay the rent. (PRWeb Sep 11, 2008) Read ... Try humor to discourage kids' drama (The Charlotte Observer) Q. Our 16-year-old daughter constantly tells her younger siblings what to do and how to do it, and that the way they do things isn't good enough. It creates daily friction. What can we do to make it stop? A sense of humor would help. Fifty-plus years ago parents took child-raising seriously, but they took children, for the most part, with the proverbial grain of salt. Today's parents take ... Glossy thriller "Fringe" has heart, humor (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Strange things are happening, which is what you'd expect in a new series from J.J. Abrams. York County calendar of events (York County Coast Star) Talk: "The Art of Maine Humor" by Tim Sample at the Ogunquit Museum of American Art, at 6:30 p.m. 646-5511 / www.ogunquitplayhouse.org. Golden anniversary for Davidsons (Georgetown Record) What keeps a marriage strong and healthy for 50 years? The grown children of Georgetown residents Bob and Betty Davidson think it is their love of strong family values plus a shared sense of humor and acceptance of each other. ?Spiderwick Chronicles? comes to Fenton library (Tri-County Times) Fenton ? What do you get when you cross ice cream with a VCR? The answer? A ?time-out.? ?Hob the troll? from the Renaissance Festival, with his own special humor, music and stories, was the highlight of a ?Spiderwick Chronicles? event at Jack R. Winegarden Library in Fenton. Varner: College education puts wage earners ahead of curve (The Pantagraph) A grandfather in the area sent an e-mail commenting on a recent article and also remembered my youthful enthusiasm, humor and respect for students. He couldn?t however quite remember when he was in my class. A quick check in the grade book showed it was fall 1975. I was brand new at Illinois State University. God has a sense of humor (The South Alabamian) Psalm 59 :7-8 (NLT) "Listen to the filth that comes from their mouths; their words cut like swords. 'After all, who can hear us?' they sneer. But LORD, you laugh at them. You scoff at all the hostile nations." Jesus faced the problem of pride with many of his closest disciples. Site: humor - Google News 'Darwin Awards': accidental humor - Baltimore Sun
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