Humor Under The Keyboards


For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect. Pianists are the most perfectionist people in the world. They should not and can not make mistakes especially when performing. That is how I viewed the piano and the pianists. But then, I just found out I was wrong. A few researches and I have once again proven that appearances can be deceiving.

The pianists we see play appear to be the most formal and respectable stars on the stage. They hold the power and the breath of the audiences. They could look intimidating in their formal suits not to mention the authority and the air of arrogance they exude while on stage. They can be captivating.

But before we forget, these pianists are also human. And humans do make mistakes. Most of these mistakes can be frustrating and depressing. But then, there are also mistakes that are amusing and could also be totally hilarious. It shows how fun could be inserted even in the most seemingly stuffy and proper event.

Here are some examples:

When asked for their definition of a piano, some famous musicians and musical enthusiasts have some famous replies:

ˇ For David W. Barber (The Musician's Dictionary), a piano is a cumbersome piece of furniture found in many homes, where playing it ensures the early departure of unwanted guests.

ˇ Piano (n.) is a parlor utensil for subduing the impertinent visitor. It is operated by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience, according to Ambrose Bierce, an American journalist (The Devil's Dictionary).

ˇ A piano tuner is a person employed to come into the home, rearrange the furniture, and annoy the cat. The tuner's chief purpose is to ascertain the breaking point of the piano's strings.

Though these definitions may sound humorous, you can never miss the ironies in it. Coming from people who live and breathe the piano, these definitions seem odd.

Here's more - when asked about their secrets in playing, you would certainly be surprised at how simple their secrets can be, and definitely applicable.

ˇ Australian pianist Artur Schnabel said, "I always make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play".

ˇ "Nothing soothes me more after a long and maddening course of pianoforte recitals than to sit and have my teeth drilled", said George Bernard Shaw, a writer and a music critic.

I definitely agree with Artur Schnabel's top secret! I wonder why George found it relaxing to have his teeth drilled after hearing the pianoforte recitals. Check out more of the piano's funny side:

ˇ Bob Hope, an American comedian commented on fellow comedian Phyllis Diller on her playing the piano: "When she started to play, Steinway himself came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano."

ˇ A band teacher recalled the title of the song "Claire de Lune" played by a student as "Claire de Loonie".

ˇ The audiences at a piano recital were appalled when a telephone rang just off stage. Without missing a note, the soloist glanced toward the wings and called, "If that's my agent, tell him I'm working!"

Now, let's check out some famous questions and answers in the funny world of piano:

ˇ What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor

ˇ What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base? A flat major

ˇ Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright? Because is makes a much bigger kaboom when dropped over a cliff.

ˇ Why was the piano invented? So that the musician would have a place to put his beer.

ˇ Why did they say that the pianist had fingers like lightning? They never struck the same place twice.

ˇ What did they find when they dug up Beethoven's grave? He was decomposing.

ˇ Why did Mozart kill his chicken? Because they always ran around going, "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

ˇ Imagine a singer, a piano player, a bass player and a drummer sitting around the table. Now if you drop a hundred-dollar bill right in the middle and tell them they're free to take it, who's getting it? The piano player. Because the bass player is too slow, for the winger it's too little money and the drummer didn't get the assignment.

Now that we've seen the humor under the keyboards, the piano and the pianists are not as elusive as they seem to be. It is just like discovering a new type of music. The piano and the pianist can take not just the breath out of the audiences but also the laughter as they present not only fine music but terrific humor as well. Having fun is what life is all about.

About The Author

The writer Ismael D. Tabije runs the website http://pianos.e-mart4all.com that markets a wide choice of high-quality digital pianos and accessories at the lowest prices in the online market. Brands sold include Casio, Yamaha, Korg, Kurzweil and Roland. The website also features interesting piano articles about piano humor, trivia, myths and facts and even piano lessons and instructions.





Latest News:



Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news
Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News)
In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News)
News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. Relief: Cubs get good news on Zambrano, Harden (ESPN)
The Cubs received encouraging news on pitchers Rich Harden and Carlos Zambrano on Tuesday. False bankruptcy item highlights risks in online news (Market Watch)
Investors are getting a fresh lesson in the power and perils of lightning-fast news on the Web in an already fast-moving market. Petraeus to Brief FOX News on Final Battlefield Tour (Fox News)
Gen David Petraeus, fresh off an announcement that thousands of U.S. troops will be withdrawn from Iraq, will give his final U.S. interview to FOX News Wednesday before handing over control of U.S.-led forces in Iraq to Gen. Raymond Odierno next week. Lesson 6: Broadcasting news (BBC News)
Students practise reading the news and produce a news programme adhering to a strict deadline. UPI NewsTrack Quirks in the News (UPI)
Car crash knocks woman off toilet ? Woman uses Feng Shui after car hits home ? Mistakenly diagosed man gives away savings ? Wisconsin man eats 23,000 Big Macs ? UPI Quirks in the News. Lesson 5: Ordering news (BBC News)
Students order several reports to make a news programme which appeals to a specific audience. Lesson 3: Writing News (BBC News)
Students write a news script which is clear, concise and correct - the three Cs of journalism. Yahoo News Redesign May Pull a Technorati ? Why Not Twitter? (Wired News)
Bloggers have uncovered URLs for a new Yahoo News layout which includes a ?Most Blogged? section. The list is presumably based off Buzz Tracker, which displays related blog posts and those that link back to an article. But wouldn't a "Twittered About" section make the site seem more cutting-edge?

Site: news - Google News
Palm Unveils New 'Nova' Software, 'Palm Pre' Phone - CNNMoney.com

Brighthand

Palm Unveils New 'Nova' Software, 'Palm Pre' Phone
CNNMoney.com - 1 hour ago
LAS VEGAS -(Dow Jones)- Palm Inc. (PALM) on Thursday unveiled its long-awaited new software for touch screen smartphones and a new phone, as the ailing firm ...
New Palm Device and Platform pocketnow.com
all 59 news articles
Ballmer touts Windows 7 beta, new deals - CNET News

BBC News

Ballmer touts Windows 7 beta, new deals
CNET News, CA - 10 hours ago
Microsoft will also announce new deals for Windows Live that will see Microsoft's search engine become the default on PCs from Dell as well as touting a ...
Microsoft's news at CES not so new Seattle Times
CES News: Ballmer Keynote Doesn?t Quite Fit The Bill Twice
CES: Microsoft announces new search deals with Dell, Verizon Seattle Post Intelligencer
LiveSide - CRN - UK
all 1,008 news articles
Warsh?s Crisis Skills Push Him Toward New York Fed Presidency - Bloomberg

Warsh?s Crisis Skills Push Him Toward New York Fed Presidency
Bloomberg - 1 hour ago
8 (Bloomberg) -- The Federal Reserve is nearing a decision on the next president of the New York Fed, with Kevin Warsh?s Wall Street background and role in ...
MORTGAGES: Tenth Straight Decline Sends 30-Year Mortgage To New Low - CNNMoney.com

The Money Times

MORTGAGES: Tenth Straight Decline Sends 30-Year Mortgage To New Low
CNNMoney.com - 4 hours ago
... of mortgage-backed securities issued by Freddie Mac , Fannie Mae and Ginnie Mae," said Frank Nothaft, Freddie Mac chief economist, in a news release. ...
Freddie Mac: Benchmark mortgage rate continues to new low MarketWatch
New York Fed starts buying agency MBS Reuters
all 807 news articles
BCS Title Game: The News Media Predicts - New York Times

BCS Title Game: The News Media Predicts
New York Times, United States - 12 hours ago
Florida 51, Oklahoma 17: Gators dominate special teams and stymie Sam Bradford to become the new preeminent program in college football.
New Hampshire Thrift Bancshares, Inc. Announces Quarterly Dividend - CNNMoney.com

New Hampshire Thrift Bancshares, Inc. Announces Quarterly Dividend
CNNMoney.com - 1 hour ago
New Hampshire Thrift Bancshares, Inc. (NASDAQ: NHTB) has declared a regular quarterly cash dividend of thirteen cents ($0.13) per share payable January 30, ...
Stocks' New-Year Rally Fizzles - Wall Street Journal

Stocks' New-Year Rally Fizzles
Wall Street Journal - 5 hours ago
By PETER A. MCKAY, ROB CURRAN, and GEOFFREY ROGOW A barrage of glum economic and corporate news hit stocks from every direction Wednesday, prompting an ...
New Voices in Congress Will Change the Tone of the Democratic Majority - New York Times

New York Times

New Voices in Congress Will Change the Tone of the Democratic Majority
New York Times, United States - Jan 7, 2009
The latest on the presidential transition and other political news from Washington and around the nation. Join the discussion. ...
Video: Obama to Bring Accountability to Spending Plan AssociatedPress
AP Top News at 11:21 am EST The Associated Press
Obama inherits $1.2 trillion deficit ? even before new stimulus Christian Science Monitor
KXMC - The Associated Press
all 12,316 news articles
Wal-Mart News Weighs on Stocks - BusinessWeek

Washington Post

Wal-Mart News Weighs on Stocks
BusinessWeek - 5 hours ago
Sentiment was hurt by news that Wal-Mart (WMT) forecast lower earnings due to disappointing December sales. Also, while initial jobless claims fell 24000 to ...
STOCKS NEWS US-Credit Suisse sees pension underfunding in 2009 Forbes
Stocks in the news: WMT, COST, SHLD, WSM, EMC, DELL, M, MSFT, BBBY BloggingStocks
Wall Street Declines On Economic News BankInfoSecurity.com
SmartBrief - SmallCapInvestor
all 1,882 news articles
Summary Of Thursday News From International Consumer Electronics Show - CNNMoney.com

Canada.com

Summary Of Thursday News From International Consumer Electronics Show
CNNMoney.com - 1 hour ago
The company's Sling Media Inc. unit unveiled SlingGuide, a new Web-based way to find, watch and record your favorite television programming from anywhere. ...
Summary Of Wed News From International Consumer Electronics Show CNNMoney.com
all 61 news articles

MORE RESOURCES:
Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for humor
New play finds humor in horror (Brigham Young NewsNet)

'Bread of Affliction,' a new production by the BYU Experimental Theatre Company, which will run Sept. 12 and 13, demonstrates how the Jewish people have survived many things largely through the power of humor. 'Whole lotta kid' kept humor despite cancer (Miami Herald)

From the minute he was born, on Nov. 22, 1995, at 8.2 pounds, Bailey Blu Kayes was ``a whole lotta kid.'' He was, said his mother, Nicole Bailey, ``all energy -- running full speed, nonstop.'' TenantReports.com Injects a Sense of Humor into the Housing Market Amidst Credit Crisis (PRWeb)

The mortgage meltdown makes tenant screening more important than ever for independent real estate investors. Real estate services site, www.TenantReports.com , aims to educate landlords on effectively screening potential tenants, while bringing a smile to those wrought with anxiety or fear of foreclosure at the thought of taking on tenants who can't pay the rent. (PRWeb Sep 11, 2008) Read ... Try humor to discourage kids' drama (The Charlotte Observer)

Q. Our 16-year-old daughter constantly tells her younger siblings what to do and how to do it, and that the way they do things isn't good enough. It creates daily friction. What can we do to make it stop? A sense of humor would help. Fifty-plus years ago parents took child-raising seriously, but they took children, for the most part, with the proverbial grain of salt. Today's parents take ... Glossy thriller "Fringe" has heart, humor (Reuters via Yahoo! News)

Strange things are happening, which is what you'd expect in a new series from J.J. Abrams. York County calendar of events (York County Coast Star)

Talk: "The Art of Maine Humor" by Tim Sample at the Ogunquit Museum of American Art, at 6:30 p.m. 646-5511 / www.ogunquitplayhouse.org. Golden anniversary for Davidsons (Georgetown Record)

What keeps a marriage strong and healthy for 50 years? The grown children of Georgetown residents Bob and Betty Davidson think it is their love of strong family values plus a shared sense of humor and acceptance of each other. ?Spiderwick Chronicles? comes to Fenton library (Tri-County Times)

Fenton ? What do you get when you cross ice cream with a VCR? The answer? A ?time-out.? ?Hob the troll? from the Renaissance Festival, with his own special humor, music and stories, was the highlight of a ?Spiderwick Chronicles? event at Jack R. Winegarden Library in Fenton. Varner: College education puts wage earners ahead of curve (The Pantagraph)

A grandfather in the area sent an e-mail commenting on a recent article and also remembered my youthful enthusiasm, humor and respect for students. He couldn?t however quite remember when he was in my class. A quick check in the grade book showed it was fall 1975. I was brand new at Illinois State University. God has a sense of humor (The South Alabamian)

Psalm 59 :7-8 (NLT) "Listen to the filth that comes from their mouths; their words cut like swords. 'After all, who can hear us?' they sneer. But LORD, you laugh at them. You scoff at all the hostile nations." Jesus faced the problem of pride with many of his closest disciples. Site: humor - Google News
'Darwin Awards': accidental humor - Baltimore Sun

'Darwin Awards': accidental humor
Baltimore Sun, United States - 7 hours ago
Endless sick humor at darwinawards.com. (9:35 pm, Showtime) Feeding frenzy: Tonight the folks at "The Office" get some good news, but they still find a way ...
OFF THE WALL Newsday
all 3 news articles
American Muslim Comic Fights Stereotypes With Humor - Voice of America

Voice of America

American Muslim Comic Fights Stereotypes With Humor
Voice of America - 23 hours ago
So part of that is to associate positive and beautiful words from our tradition such as Allah with something beautiful and positive - which is humor and ...
Anne Hathaway On Her Ex & Finding Her Sense Of Humor - Access Hollywood

Times Online

Anne Hathaway On Her Ex & Finding Her Sense Of Humor
Access Hollywood - 1 hour ago
?2008 was the year I learned to have a sense of humor about everything,? she added. Ellen told Anne she wanted to fix her up ? and the actress said ...
Anne Hathaway Tackles Barack Obama, Rick Warren and 'Bride Wars ... Women on the Web
Anne Wants Next Boyfriend to Obey Law Hollyscoop
Ellen DeGeneres to Find Mr. Right for Anne Hathaway People Magazine
Fashion.ie - Starpulse.com
all 32 news articles
Review: 'Bride Wars' has wicked spirit, little humor - Contra Costa Times

Washington Post

Review: 'Bride Wars' has wicked spirit, little humor
Contra Costa Times, CA - 23 hours ago
By Bob Strauss 'BRIDE WARS" could have been your typical cartoonish, early-winter wedding comedy. Although it certainly has moments like that, ...
Video: Ann Hathaway's Stellar Year CBS
Kate Hudson sticks to what works for her in ?Bride Wars? Access Atlanta
?Bride Wars? is a failed marriage | 1 ˝ stars Kansas City Star
MediaBlvd Magazine - Showbiz Spy
all 483 news articles
Wiyos bring humor and music to Amazing Things Saturday - Milford Daily News

Wiyos bring humor and music to Amazing Things Saturday
Milford Daily News,  USA - 13 hours ago
By Chris Bergeron/Daily News staff With their band named after New York's most notorious gang, The Wiyos are heading back to Framingham to kick off their ...
Humor: T-shirt discrimination is wrong - and sometimes lucrative - WSLS.com

WSLS.com

Humor: T-shirt discrimination is wrong - and sometimes lucrative
WSLS.com, VA - 2 hours ago
By SCOTT HOLLIFIELD That?s what my fellow victim of T-shirt discrimination received and that?s exactly what I want. According to a story in The Washington ...
Goofy humor that somehow works a treat - ?????

?????

Goofy humor that somehow works a treat
?????, South Korea - 6 hours ago
In the end, Be Kind Rewind accomplishes its own humble goal of creating humor from its wacky homage to great films. By Hannah Bae Contributing Writer ...
From old car devotee to Zauer Kraut bandleader, Dvergsten led with ... - Storm Lake Pilot Tribune

From old car devotee to Zauer Kraut bandleader, Dvergsten led with ...
Storm Lake Pilot Tribune, IA - 7 hours ago
"Whether it was a Norwegian joke or a story about backing a Model T Ford home when parts gave out, his offbeat humor paved the way for never-failing ...
What's Next for Pac Man Jones? (Humor) - Bleacher Report

Bleacher Report

What's Next for Pac Man Jones? (Humor)
Bleacher Report, CA - 21 hours ago
by Shane Howard (Analyst) It was only a matter of time and today was that time. January 7th, 2009 marked the day that Adam "Don't call me Pac Man anymore" ...
Comic Gallagher smashing notions and watermelons with heavy humor - Evansville Courier & Press

Comic Gallagher smashing notions and watermelons with heavy humor
Evansville Courier & Press, IN - 15 hours ago
At one point, Gallagher asked if he was being funny enough, so he interjected a little political humor concerning embattled Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. ...
Home | Site Map | Resource Links