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Short Story: Take a Trip To The Temple Of The Great Tomato
Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer. Far from it, Jimmy has had the same job, in the same office for 15 years. He's got about 2 years of holiday time built up because he never, and I mean never, goes anywhere, not even to the Coast for a day in the sun. He works very hard, is an amicable fellow, but is single, 39 years old, and boring. Boring is this guy's middle name. I don't think he has any hobbies and he never has anything interesting to say, just small talk, and the obligatory work speeches. I wanted to crack this man's shell of monotony and blandness, but how? You see I'm the complete opposite to Jimmy, his antithesis, and yin to his yang, black to his white. I live for excitement. I live to travel. Beaches, festivals, treks, foreign food, culture, nature, historic sites, and shopping in unfamiliar lands are what make my blood run, my spirit fly, and my heart beat faster than the speed of light. I just had to wake up this man from his static, stagnant existence. I mean there could be nothing unknown about this guy; everything was right in your face, out in the open. Well, before I began my "Crack Jimmy's shell challenge", I had more important things to do, like get the hell out of there. The famous La Tomatino Festival in Spain was about to happen and I had rigorously organized my trip on the Internet. It's truly amazing the amount of information and help you can get from all the traveling web sites. I like to be organized and prepared for all eventualities that might happen. My air tickets and hotel were booked in advance, and I got all the 'juice' on visas, currency, and transportation (train from Valencia to Bunol-$3.00!) from the Net. I've printed off maps of the city and town, got lists of all the famous attractions, nightspots, and the best restaurants for that authentic paella experience. So anyway, the weekly festivals were in full motion and I was having the time of my life. A feeling of impending excitement was pervading the air as everyone was getting ready for the culmination of the festival- the biggest food fight in the world. 125 tonnes of tomatoes to be turned into human ketchup in just two hours! No one knows exactly why the tradition began back in the 1950's, but it has become a bit of a religious occasion for those who worship the Temple of the Great Tomato, nah, it's actually Christian. Doesn't matter much to me, I just wanted to be part of the chaos-I even wore a white suit. People say this is a metaphorical attempt at suicide, but I'm always up for a challenge! Here we go! The battle began. The air turned red, people going berserk at the height of excitement. It seems the white suit wasn't the best idea. I got hammered. Total pulverization. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me as the tomato integrated itself into my soul. I lay on the ground, people running all around me yelling and screaming in Spanish. I looked up through the ketchup dripping thickly off of my eyelids. That's when my mind was totally blown away into oblivion, never to be the same again. Standing in front of me smiling, throwing handfuls of squished tomatoes was none other than Jimmy Jenkins Jr. He bent over, looked me straight in the eye and said, "Richard Woodward, fancy meeting you here." I stuttered in astonishment, but no comprehensible words came out. Either the shock or the tomatoes in my mouth were creating the problem. Jimmy spoke again, his smile as wide as a tomato-mad maniac, " Let me let you in on a bit of secret Richard. I know you won't give me away. You see buddy, I've got an identical brother. We make it look like we're always working for the company, always on time, always there. But in reality we're sharing one man's life and when the other man is at work, the other is traveling the world having huge vacations and partying like mad. It really is hard when it's my turn to go to the office and act so incredibly boring and predictable. Pretty cool eh?" He then lifted a giant (what looked like a genetically altered) tomato and screaming a tribal yell, smashed it into my face. He then laughed and ran into the tomato-red sunset leaving me 'bloody' and bewildered. About The Author Jesse S. Somer Jesse S. Somer is a space-traveling human hoping to show his fellow Earth-dwellers the hidden opportunities found in the Internet.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news Sarah Palin docu wins record ratings for Fox News (Reuters via Yahoo! News) In a week of records surrounding the Republican National Convention, Fox News Channel earned another one with its weekend documentary on vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin. MySpace ad business ahead of target: News Corp (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's (NWSa.N) MySpace advertising business is operating ahead of expectations and its digital ad business is performing better than the marketplace, the company's chief operating officer said on Tuesday. Relief: Cubs get good news on Zambrano, Harden (ESPN) The Cubs received encouraging news on pitchers Rich Harden and Carlos Zambrano on Tuesday. False bankruptcy item highlights risks in online news (Market Watch) Investors are getting a fresh lesson in the power and perils of lightning-fast news on the Web in an already fast-moving market. Petraeus to Brief FOX News on Final Battlefield Tour (Fox News) Gen David Petraeus, fresh off an announcement that thousands of U.S. troops will be withdrawn from Iraq, will give his final U.S. interview to FOX News Wednesday before handing over control of U.S.-led forces in Iraq to Gen. Raymond Odierno next week. Lesson 6: Broadcasting news (BBC News) Students practise reading the news and produce a news programme adhering to a strict deadline. UPI NewsTrack Quirks in the News (UPI) Car crash knocks woman off toilet ? Woman uses Feng Shui after car hits home ? Mistakenly diagosed man gives away savings ? Wisconsin man eats 23,000 Big Macs ? UPI Quirks in the News. Lesson 5: Ordering news (BBC News) Students order several reports to make a news programme which appeals to a specific audience. Lesson 3: Writing News (BBC News) Students write a news script which is clear, concise and correct - the three Cs of journalism. Yahoo News Redesign May Pull a Technorati ? Why Not Twitter? (Wired News) Bloggers have uncovered URLs for a new Yahoo News layout which includes a ?Most Blogged? section. The list is presumably based off Buzz Tracker, which displays related blog posts and those that link back to an article. But wouldn't a "Twittered About" section make the site seem more cutting-edge? Site: news - Google News Australia, New Zealand Dollars Advance as Stocks Poised to Gain - Bloomberg
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for humor New play finds humor in horror (Brigham Young NewsNet) 'Bread of Affliction,' a new production by the BYU Experimental Theatre Company, which will run Sept. 12 and 13, demonstrates how the Jewish people have survived many things largely through the power of humor. 'Whole lotta kid' kept humor despite cancer (Miami Herald) From the minute he was born, on Nov. 22, 1995, at 8.2 pounds, Bailey Blu Kayes was ``a whole lotta kid.'' He was, said his mother, Nicole Bailey, ``all energy -- running full speed, nonstop.'' TenantReports.com Injects a Sense of Humor into the Housing Market Amidst Credit Crisis (PRWeb) The mortgage meltdown makes tenant screening more important than ever for independent real estate investors. Real estate services site, www.TenantReports.com , aims to educate landlords on effectively screening potential tenants, while bringing a smile to those wrought with anxiety or fear of foreclosure at the thought of taking on tenants who can't pay the rent. (PRWeb Sep 11, 2008) Read ... Try humor to discourage kids' drama (The Charlotte Observer) Q. Our 16-year-old daughter constantly tells her younger siblings what to do and how to do it, and that the way they do things isn't good enough. It creates daily friction. What can we do to make it stop? A sense of humor would help. Fifty-plus years ago parents took child-raising seriously, but they took children, for the most part, with the proverbial grain of salt. Today's parents take ... Glossy thriller "Fringe" has heart, humor (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Strange things are happening, which is what you'd expect in a new series from J.J. Abrams. York County calendar of events (York County Coast Star) Talk: "The Art of Maine Humor" by Tim Sample at the Ogunquit Museum of American Art, at 6:30 p.m. 646-5511 / www.ogunquitplayhouse.org. Golden anniversary for Davidsons (Georgetown Record) What keeps a marriage strong and healthy for 50 years? The grown children of Georgetown residents Bob and Betty Davidson think it is their love of strong family values plus a shared sense of humor and acceptance of each other. ?Spiderwick Chronicles? comes to Fenton library (Tri-County Times) Fenton ? What do you get when you cross ice cream with a VCR? The answer? A ?time-out.? ?Hob the troll? from the Renaissance Festival, with his own special humor, music and stories, was the highlight of a ?Spiderwick Chronicles? event at Jack R. Winegarden Library in Fenton. Varner: College education puts wage earners ahead of curve (The Pantagraph) A grandfather in the area sent an e-mail commenting on a recent article and also remembered my youthful enthusiasm, humor and respect for students. He couldn?t however quite remember when he was in my class. A quick check in the grade book showed it was fall 1975. I was brand new at Illinois State University. God has a sense of humor (The South Alabamian) Psalm 59 :7-8 (NLT) "Listen to the filth that comes from their mouths; their words cut like swords. 'After all, who can hear us?' they sneer. But LORD, you laugh at them. You scoff at all the hostile nations." Jesus faced the problem of pride with many of his closest disciples. Site: humor - Google News 'Darwin Awards': accidental humor - Baltimore Sun
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