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You Can't See Your Own Eyes
My friend called me this morning from her favorite coffee shop. She was taking a break from work. I sensed frustration in her voice. Something clearly was on her mind. After a few minutes of small talk I invited her to tell me what was going on. She took a deep breath and told me that she was once again, dissatisfied with her job, and for that matter - her life. This information, or should I say complaint, wasn't new news. If I were a betting woman, the minute I heard the frustration in her voice, I would have guessed what was going on and where the conversation was headed. We've been here before. My friend has been struggling with this issue for years. There have been many times throughout our years as friends that I've been happy to explore options, problem solve, and come up with creative action plans for her to follow. She's brilliant, self-analyzing, and willing to look at the truth about herself. Always, by the end of our conversations, she's excited, inspired and motivated to make the necessary life changes and yet, nothing changes. She continuously finds a million good reasons to talk herself out of changing her life. Why, I wonder to myself, can't she - and many people like her, find their way out of their own, self imposed paper bag! My friend is caught in an endless loop of her own brilliant, yet limited thinking. Even when she gets advice or makes a plan to follow, left to her own devices she will ultimately find a way to talk herself out of making the change. She's like a rat in a labyrinth, twisting her way through the endless corridors of her own often-limited logic, and that is frustrating, both for her, and to watch. So, why is this? What creates this all too familiar human challenge? The answer's simple. You can't see yourself. Sometimes, trying to solve your own problems is like trying to see your own eyes. Try as you might, without a mirror, you'll never be successful at gazing directly upon the windows of your own soul. The only way to see your own eyes is to look into a reflection. The reflection I'm talking about in this case is called perspective. Seeking outside perspective, from a professional, not just a friend, can help you deal with and move through your challenges. It's the way out of the paper bag. It's the flashlight that provides illumination when the world is dark. Are you, or someone you know lost inside your own paper bag? Here are some suggestions for taking the first step into the light: Are you resistant to ask for outside help? Is it simply stubbornness? Unfortunately, some of the cultural view defines us as weak if we ask for help. Challenge this belief. Choose to align with the available wisdom accessible to you. Is there an underlying issue at the root? Lack of confidence, self-esteem, or fear can be real and debilitating. Consider handling your issue with a mental health professional. You can make all the action plans in the world but, if there is an underlying issue not resolved, you will always wind up back in the old familiar paper bag. Do you need a good kick in the pants? Making a change is kind of like starting to exercise after you haven't done it for a while. It's hard to get started, but once you do, it feels great. Define for yourself the benefit you will receive from handling the problem. Then, use the benefit to create inspiration and incentive to take that first step. This is where a friend can come in?ask them to provide the kick in the pants you need. I was delighted when my friend called me back later that day and told me she found a therapist and was committed to working through what ever was in her way. I'm proud of her and will be supportive as she takes this first tender step. She will now have a mirror to reflect back the beauty of her own eyes and live the life she's always wanted to live. I'm excited for her. It's YOUR life?live it completely! Helaine is a professional coach and writer, who has been featured in numerous publications, including "O" The Oprah Magazine. She helps entrepreneurs and professional women accelerate their professional success, while achieving a more complete and fulfilling personal life. For a free consultation, contact her at 603-357-8546 to discuss how she can help you accelerate your own success. You may also visit her website, http://www.pathofpurpose.com, or email your questions to helaine@pathofpurpose.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news Myanmar's Suu Kyi to get family letters, news mags (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Detained Myanmar opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi has managed to wring small concessions from the ruling generals in the form of letters from her family and some international news magazines, her lawyer said on Friday. SEC Looks Into UAL Stock Scare; Implications For Online News? (CBS News) A ton of digits have been devoted to this in other spots but the SEC's decision to investigate takes it to another level. The backstory: a six-year-old news story about UAL declaring bankruptcy made it into the Tribune-owned Sun-Sentinel 's current news flow, was picked up by a Google (NSDQ: GOOG) News bot and, via a reporter for a newsletter, made it onto Bloomberg News. After a lot of buck ... JCDecaux in talks for News Outdoor Group in Russia (AP via Yahoo! News) French outdoor advertising firm JCDecaux SA said Thursday it is negotiating to buy Russian rival News Outdoor Group from global media company News Corp. News Corp tightens grip on Premiere with new CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch tightened his grip on German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere by appointing News Corp executive Mark Williams as CEO in a move to get the company back on track. Phila. mayor to announce grim budget news (The Philadelphia Inquirer) The Nutter administration is expected to announce grim budget news today, which is all but certain to lead to significant spending cuts - perhaps as high as 10 percent - in some city departments, according to three sources familiar with the budget. Help News pick Stadium's greatest moment (New York Daily News) The News is marking the countdown to the final game at The House That Ruth Built by reflecting on Yankee Stadium's greatest moments - and we're asking you - the reader - to help us pick out the best of the best. JCDecaux and News Corp. in talks to combine outdoor ad groups (International Herald Tribune) The News Corp. chief executive, Rupert Murdoch, has recently expressed nervousness about investments in Russia, where News Outdoor generated the bulk of its revenue last year. SEC Looks Into UAL Stock Scare; Implications For Online News? (paidContent.org via Yahoo! Finance) A ton of digits have been devoted to this in other spots but the SEC's decision to investigate takes it to another level. The backstory: a six-year-old news story about UAL declaring bankruptcy made it into the Tribune-owned Sun-Sentinel's current news flow, was picked up by a Google News bot and, via a reporter for a newsletter, made it onto Bloomberg News. JCDecaux in talks to buy News Corp. billboard unit (AP via Yahoo! Finance) In a deal that would create the world's largest outdoor advertising company, French conglomerate JCDecaux SA said Thursday that it is in talks to buy Russian rival News Outdoor Group from global media company News Corp. News Corp says Mark Williams interim Premiere CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp. executive Mark Williams has taken over as chief executive of German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere in an interim capacity, News Corp. said after the move led to renewed takeover speculation. Site: news - Google News Palm Shares Soar As New Smartphone Wins Wall Street Praise - CNNMoney.com
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for happiness 'Harvest Moon' sows little happiness at 10 (USA Today) Originally launched on the Super Nintendo, the "Harvest Moon" series of video games is celebrating its 10th anniversary with the release of "Harvest Moon: Island of Happiness" for the Nintendo DS. Unfortunately, unless you have extreme patience, you will not experience much happiness with this software title that suffers from difficult controls and tedious game play. Gretchen Rubin: Balanced Life: Happiness Project: Dig deep. (HuffingtonPost) I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you should have one, too! Everyone's project will look different, but it's the rare person who can't benefit.... Taller people have the edge when it comes to happiness (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Taller people are happier on average than shorter people, with each extra inch in height giving as much satisfaction as a four percent increase in income, according to a U.S. study. The price of happiness? £365 a year I'd say (Times Online) In Birmingham once, I was given a peek inside a majestic Victorian bank that had been closed for years. It's probably a dodgy nightclub now. In which case, its new punters may be a little startled by the stern admonishments emblazoned on its marble walls. ?Thrift radiates happiness? one declared. Pursuit of Happiness (The Moscow Times) The upcoming theater season is guaranteed to be full of the usual thrills, spills and creative performances. John Freedman reports. Ben Lewis proposes that jokes had a role in the end of the U.S.S.R. Famous Comedian's Cousin Says Happiness is Half Genetic (PRWeb) Rima Rudner, first cousin of top standup Rita Rudner, says the reason some people are happier and more fulfilled than others is at least 50% in their genes. "This does not necessarily mean that a woman who wears size 4 jeans is happier than one who wears size 16 jeans," says Rudner, author and happiness coach. "It means that happiness can be as hard to achieve for a genetically unhappy person ... Happiness and Wellbeing at Work Conference (Australian Policy Online) Follows the success of last year's conference including seminars and workshops facilitated by some of Australia's leading experts on psychology, leadership and workplace relations, The aim of this conference is for our expert speakers to provide strategies that will allow the mindful leader to create solutions for generating increased productivity through the dominant value of employee ... Happiness is a daily special at Island Soul Caribbean Cuisine (Seattle Post-Intelligencer) A visit to Island Soul will put a smile on your face thanks to its friendly servers and a menu that plays like a greatest hits of the Caribbean. When happiness means more than money (The Kansas City Star) Midcareer job changers may be the nation's best hope to fill an estimated 1.5 million teaching vacancies expected in the next 10 years.But $50,000 a year may be the magic number to entice most of them to the profession. The science of happiness (Los Angeles Times) Being happy has always seemed like a good idea. But now science, with research to back it up, can finally show us how to get there. True or false: Site: happiness - Google News Spirituality, not religion, makes kids happy - MSNBC
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