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The Stories We Tell Ourselves
The Hasidic master, Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach taught that on Passover night we are bringing our entire life stories to the Seder table to be freed. What exactly does this mean? To begin with, we are by nature, storytellers. Whether we are aware of it or not, we live in a world of stories. Stories that we tell our family, friends, coworkers, and clients. Stories we share over the phone, e-mail, in our journals and the stories that are constantly playing themselves out in our heads. Stories about what's happening to those we love, stories about those we despise, stories that inspire the spirit, and stories that instill fear. The sum and total of our life is that, from our birth until our death, we are walking stories, here upon the earth. Yet on Passover, it's the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves that needs to be looked at and freed. The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves have great power over us. Depending on how they are told, our life stories can either enlighten or mislead, inspire or discourage. A good exercise for this Passover is to become more aware of the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves and our past. What are the underlying themes of our stories? Victory? Betrayal? Struggle? Victimization? Each of us has had key events in our pasts, whether it be from our childhood, or more recent episodes of hurt and loss, where a part of us draws a reactionary conclusion about our life stories -- even when the conclusions are terribly incorrect. Many perpetuate these stories and our immature understandings of them often make a further mess of our lives in the process - unless a reminder comes to wake us up and reorient our perspective. Our Hebrew Sages teach that Passover is such a reminder. Passover is a reminder that we need not live in our Egypts forever. There is a G-d, a Higher Power, that has an invested interest in our Liberation. Our job comes in our willingness to understand, heal and ultimately elevate the stories we hold onto that are no longer working for us. After all, it does clearly state in the Haggadah, "In every generation a person is obligated to see themselves, as if they themselves left Egypt". What are we doing to leave THIS year? We can simply begin by looking at our life stories and revising parts of the script. Remember, it's not what happened to us that's important but what we make of those events. The following suggestions are designed to help us tell our stories well this year: Become a Sympathetic Narrator When telling your story about yourself, to yourself, become a sympathetic narrator. In literature, a sympathetic narrator is one who takes the side of the story's protagonist or main character. For example, when the Torah introduces the life of King David, it includes his shortcomings, yet does not let it take away from his greatness. Similarly, we need to admit mistakes yet not obsess over them. A sympathetic narrator casts daily failures as learning experiences, painful yet helpful steps on the way to success. Choose What You Want to Emphasize Any honest reporter will tell you that all stories have a slant. It's not that reporters try to mislead, it's just that in choosing what to cover, some things are always left out or minimized in order to create a perspective. And that's OK. Likewise, in our own stories of loss or pain, deciding what to highlight can bring about the difference between lingering bitterness and a sense of closure. Seek the Higher Purpose There is a core spiritual principle that our lives are divinely designed for each one of us to get exactly what we need to support our own soul's unique evolutionary process. As the Baal Shem Tov taught, "You are exactly where you need to be", which implies that we should not get too caught up in our internal struggles against what is, or what was, which will only lead to more pain and suffering. According to this spiritual belief, nothing in our world occurs by accident and there are no coincidences, only synchronicity. When reframing our life stories, attempt to see the "Hand of G-d" or the pattern of events that have led us to this moment. These patterns of connectedness or synchronicity are the magical language of the Divine in our lives. When rewriting our stories, seek to see beyond the circumstances and instead at the Divine Order of the unique paths that have chosen us. As for the Life Story that still plays itself out today: Work on the 20 Percent While it is not commonly known, according to the Midrash, when Moses left Egypt, only 20 percent of the nation of Israel left with him. The other 80 percent remained behind, and did not succeed in taking the risk of leaving an imprisonment that was all too familiar to them. An interesting correlation is found in the meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous and other recovery groups where the statistic is the same. It is known that only 20 percent of those in recovery will remain sober, the other 80 percent will inevitably relapse into old behavior as statistics have shown, because the life of addiction, no matter how painful and dark, is at least familiar. Consequently, when we say we want to change our life stories, the important thing to remember is not whether we feel 100 percent confident and ready. The more realistic question to ask ourselves today is whether we still have a least 20 percent of ourselves that is strong enough to take the steps, and if we can agree to work on that 20 percent that is committed and willing. Passover asks us to at least look for that part, to find that part, and to work on that part, for it is there that we might find the secret of finding the life we want and deserve to live. May this Passover be for all of us, the benchmark in time when we begin retelling our stories, but perhaps this time, in a slightly different way. May G-d release us this Passover from our pasts that we may be delivered to our future. New Beginnings, Rabbi Michael Ozair Practical Exercise: Write out three stories from any period of your life (no more than a page each) of something you did well, some problem you solved, and tell (yourself) how you did it. About The Author Rabbi Michael Ezra is a spiritual life coach, counselor and consultant. He can be reached at coach@kabbalahcoach.com or by visiting his site at www.Kabbalahcoach.com.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news Myanmar's Suu Kyi to get family letters, news mags (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Detained Myanmar opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi has managed to wring small concessions from the ruling generals in the form of letters from her family and some international news magazines, her lawyer said on Friday. JCDecaux in talks for News Outdoor Group in Russia (AP via Yahoo! News) French outdoor advertising firm JCDecaux SA said Thursday it is negotiating to buy Russian rival News Outdoor Group from global media company News Corp. News Corp tightens grip on Premiere with new CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch tightened his grip on German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere by appointing News Corp executive Mark Williams as CEO in a move to get the company back on track. SEC Looks Into UAL Stock Scare; Implications For Online News? (CBS News) A ton of digits have been devoted to this in other spots but the SEC's decision to investigate takes it to another level. The backstory: a six-year-old news story about UAL declaring bankruptcy made it into the Tribune-owned Sun-Sentinel 's current news flow, was picked up by a Google (NSDQ: GOOG) News bot and, via a reporter for a newsletter, made it onto Bloomberg News. After a lot of buck ... JCDecaux and News Corp. in talks to combine outdoor ad groups (International Herald Tribune) The News Corp. chief executive, Rupert Murdoch, has recently expressed nervousness about investments in Russia, where News Outdoor generated the bulk of its revenue last year. SEC Looks Into UAL Stock Scare; Implications For Online News? (paidContent.org via Yahoo! Finance) A ton of digits have been devoted to this in other spots but the SEC's decision to investigate takes it to another level. The backstory: a six-year-old news story about UAL declaring bankruptcy made it into the Tribune-owned Sun-Sentinel's current news flow, was picked up by a Google News bot and, via a reporter for a newsletter, made it onto Bloomberg News. JCDecaux in talks to buy News Corp. billboard unit (AP via Yahoo! Finance) In a deal that would create the world's largest outdoor advertising company, French conglomerate JCDecaux SA said Thursday that it is in talks to buy Russian rival News Outdoor Group from global media company News Corp. Phila. mayor to announce grim budget news (The Philadelphia Inquirer) The Nutter administration is expected to announce grim budget news today, which is all but certain to lead to significant spending cuts - perhaps as high as 10 percent - in some city departments, according to three sources familiar with the budget. News Corp says Mark Williams interim Premiere CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp. executive Mark Williams has taken over as chief executive of German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere in an interim capacity, News Corp. said after the move led to renewed takeover speculation. News Corp. says Mark Williams interim Premiere CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Mark Williams, a News Corp. executive named late on Wednesday as chief executive of German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere, has taken over in an interim capacity, a News Corp. spokeswoman said on Thursday. Site: news - Google News New Voices in Congress Will Change the Tone of the Democratic Majority - New York Times
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for goal setting GIRLS? SOCCER: Giants? goal? School record 15 (Marion Chronicle-Tribune) ANDERSON ? Marion won its first girls? soccer match Wednes-day in record-setting style. The Giants set a single-game scoring record and completely dominated host Anderson Highland, 15-0. Tamara Barrett, Jackie Roorbach and Alex Lester each had three-goal hat tricks for the Giants. Soft-spoken Syd'Quan not shy in setting big goals for Cal and himself at cornerback (Contra Costa Times) Thompson is tied for the NCAA lead in interceptions with three after two games, and three picks is his goal for each game, including Saturday at Maryland. A's setting sights on second place (Oakland A's) A's setting sights on second place Archdiocese sets fundraising record (St. Louis Post-Dispatch) The St. Louis Archdiocese said local Catholics contributed more than $13 million to its annual fundraising effort, surpassing its goal by more than $1 million and setting a record for the 59-year-old campaign. United Way sets goal at $935,000 (Great Falls Tribune) United Way of Cascade County kicked off its annual fundraising drive Tuesday, setting a goal of $935,000. United Way launches campaign for $2.2 million (The Hendersonville Times-News) The United Way of Henderson County volunteers, staff and community officials kicked off the 2008 fund raising campaign at 7:30 a.m. today at the Historic Courthouse, setting a goal of $2.2 million to meet needs of the community in health care, social services and other areas. RI residents oppose mass housing (Quad-City Times) Rock Island?s Housing Authority, or RIHA, wrapped up hours of goal setting for its next fiscal year Thursday night. But controversy is building about one of the agency?s proposals. Sallie Mae to turn on $10B private tap (Baltimore Business Journal) Sallie Mae is rushing into a market many are deserting by setting a goal of making $10 billion worth of student loans that are not backed by the federal government. (SLM) On the agenda (The Fort Collins Coloradoan) September Symposium 8 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., Friday, Lincoln Center, 417 W. Magnolia St. Attend these free sessions on a wide variety of topics ranging from avoiding burnout, performance appraisals, conflict resolution, small business leadership, goal setting, marketing and more. Reservations are required. For more information, visit www.larimerworkforce.org Going for the goal (Bangkok Post - Thailand's English news) Goals are one of the most important elements of success at any level and in any field. Having clear goals helps us know exactly what we want to accomplish in what time frame. Goals can also inspire us and get us excited and motivated. Site: goal setting - Google News A strategic plan for goal setting - Santa Rosa Press Democrat
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