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Manage Your Expectations ... And Raise The Bar On Your Quality Of Life!
When I was a newbie in 'the game of life,' I wanted to succeed beyond my wildest dreams. I wanted to make it big and take on the world, all at once. My expectations were so high that not even Jack could reach them on his beanstalk. However, over time, after much frustration and burn out, I shifted to the other extreme by dropping my expectations, and dreams. The idea of lowering our expectations is a contradiction to the 'parental voices' that tells us that we should 'reach for the stars,' 'raise our expectations,' and 'shoot for the moon.' In theory, these are excellent ideals when chasing a dream. But, without some control, such ideals can burn you out, create frustration, and literally destroy your drive to attain any goals, lofty or otherwise. We've all either been there, or are there. If you feel like you've run into a wall, or bumped your head on the ceiling, your expectations of what should be are probably forcing you to take 'too big of a bite.' But, don't necessarily lower your expectations. Try managing your expectations to keep your dreams alive and continue your pursuit at a reasonable pace. Again, it seems like a contradiction to what we've all heard at one time or another. But, actually, there is a way to keep your ultimate goal in sight, while managing your expectations, so that you can keep your sanity and still achieve success in life. --- Look at it! ---- Evel Knievel jumps canyons on various wonder-bikes, for fun! But, don't think he just hopped on his bike one day and jumped over the Grand Canyon. Consider that he developed his skills over time to execute his lifetime of phenomenal jumps. But, if he had taken the jumps without building up to them, fear and inexperience would have destroyed the stunts. He had to start with small jumps to gain confidence until, eventually, he was able to make his jumps without hesitation. High expectations can place you in a position of trying to jump your own canyons right out of the gate. Too many failed attempts can lead you to frustration and eventually, complete surrender of your goals. However, if such an attempt should succeed, it could land you in a situation that, while it looked good from a distance, might not be the place where you wanted to land. --- Break it down! --- Before you go too far on that jump across that canyon, make sure that you know exactly where you want to land. It is imperative that you define exactly what it is that you ultimately want in your life. Once you know what you want, break the process to reach this 'vision' down into reasonable steps. Instead of trying to jump the canyon immediately, try jumping a puddle to see if you can do it with confidence. Once you manage the puddle, take what you've learned, put it behind you, and go for something just outside of your comfort zone ... perhaps a ditch. Such steps allow you to take on smaller pieces of the whole so that you can set reachable goals on the way to your vision. --- Changing directions! --- Not only is this 'stepping stone' approach to attaining lofty goals and managing high expectations effective in moving you in the right direction, but you might also find that, the destination is something that you didn't 'expect.' Here is the key---'did not expect.' High expectations set on a vision that is 'unknown' can lead you sometimes place you further away from your vision then when you started. We see where we want to go, want so badly to get there, but have no idea what it takes or what it is that we're pursuing. Even though the vision might be reasonable, it is the perception that we have of the vision that adds unnecessary stress to our daily lives in our pursuit of that vision. If we take small steps to reach our vision, we can adjust our path along the way. As we move toward and learn more of our ultimate destination, we might find that we don't want the original vision. We learn that we might instead want the objective about 30 degrees off of our original. By moving along, one goal at a time, we are able to adjust to ensure that we land were we want to on the other side of our canyon. --- Reapplying the expectations! --- We all develop a certain perspective of things based on the way that we've been raised, the experiences that we've encountered, and the successes or failures that we've had in our lives. Based on our perspective, we develop extraordinarily high expectations of things when we're not sure of the results of our plight or goals in life. These expectations are built up to cover the doubts that we might have about the goal. Realize that things are what they are, regardless of our perception. But, by accepting things as they are, and not what you would wish them to be, it makes it much easier to maneuver yourself in the direction you want to go. We must sometimes readjust our perspectives, our values and belief systems, to gain some control in our lives and obtain a clearer view of our paths. --- What's next? --- By taking on small pieces of the whole, we can easily adjust our path along the way. In this way, we must research our goals so that we can understand where we're going. In breaking up the path into the smaller goals required to reach our vision, our expectations for our vision become clearer and less imperative. By managing our goals in this way, we automatically manage our expectations because we only have expectations of the immediate goal leading us in the direction of our ultimate vision. Establish a new plan based on the individual components of your overall vision. Try moving forward with this new plan and see what happens. See how the newly managed goals and expectations work in your life and how you feel as you accomplish the smaller goals on the way to your vision. Not only will managing your expectations provide you with a more solid path to reach your vision, but it will also enhance your quality of life. Instead of being stressed, frustrated, and disappointed, you can now feel good about your forward momentum in your own life because you will know where you're going and be able to handle the journey. About The Author Edward B. Toupin is a published author, technical writer, web developer, coach, and producer living in "The Entertainment Capital of the World," Las Vegas, NV. One of his primary objectives in his work is to provide information to help others achieve fulfilling lives. Visit his site at http://encouragement.netfirms.com and http://www.toupin.com or contact him at etoupin@toupin.com or lifecoach@toupin.com for more information.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news Myanmar's Suu Kyi to get family letters, news mags (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Detained Myanmar opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi has managed to wring small concessions from the ruling generals in the form of letters from her family and some international news magazines, her lawyer said on Friday. JCDecaux in talks for News Outdoor Group in Russia (AP via Yahoo! News) French outdoor advertising firm JCDecaux SA said Thursday it is negotiating to buy Russian rival News Outdoor Group from global media company News Corp. News Corp tightens grip on Premiere with new CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch tightened his grip on German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere by appointing News Corp executive Mark Williams as CEO in a move to get the company back on track. SEC Looks Into UAL Stock Scare; Implications For Online News? (CBS News) A ton of digits have been devoted to this in other spots but the SEC's decision to investigate takes it to another level. The backstory: a six-year-old news story about UAL declaring bankruptcy made it into the Tribune-owned Sun-Sentinel 's current news flow, was picked up by a Google (NSDQ: GOOG) News bot and, via a reporter for a newsletter, made it onto Bloomberg News. After a lot of buck ... JCDecaux and News Corp. in talks to combine outdoor ad groups (International Herald Tribune) The News Corp. chief executive, Rupert Murdoch, has recently expressed nervousness about investments in Russia, where News Outdoor generated the bulk of its revenue last year. SEC Looks Into UAL Stock Scare; Implications For Online News? (paidContent.org via Yahoo! Finance) A ton of digits have been devoted to this in other spots but the SEC's decision to investigate takes it to another level. The backstory: a six-year-old news story about UAL declaring bankruptcy made it into the Tribune-owned Sun-Sentinel's current news flow, was picked up by a Google News bot and, via a reporter for a newsletter, made it onto Bloomberg News. JCDecaux in talks to buy News Corp. billboard unit (AP via Yahoo! Finance) In a deal that would create the world's largest outdoor advertising company, French conglomerate JCDecaux SA said Thursday that it is in talks to buy Russian rival News Outdoor Group from global media company News Corp. Phila. mayor to announce grim budget news (The Philadelphia Inquirer) The Nutter administration is expected to announce grim budget news today, which is all but certain to lead to significant spending cuts - perhaps as high as 10 percent - in some city departments, according to three sources familiar with the budget. News Corp says Mark Williams interim Premiere CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp. executive Mark Williams has taken over as chief executive of German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere in an interim capacity, News Corp. said after the move led to renewed takeover speculation. News Corp. says Mark Williams interim Premiere CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Mark Williams, a News Corp. executive named late on Wednesday as chief executive of German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere, has taken over in an interim capacity, a News Corp. spokeswoman said on Thursday. Site: news - Google News Ballmer touts Windows 7 beta, new deals - CNET News
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for goal setting GIRLS? SOCCER: Giants? goal? School record 15 (Marion Chronicle-Tribune) ANDERSON ? Marion won its first girls? soccer match Wednes-day in record-setting style. The Giants set a single-game scoring record and completely dominated host Anderson Highland, 15-0. Tamara Barrett, Jackie Roorbach and Alex Lester each had three-goal hat tricks for the Giants. Soft-spoken Syd'Quan not shy in setting big goals for Cal and himself at cornerback (Contra Costa Times) Thompson is tied for the NCAA lead in interceptions with three after two games, and three picks is his goal for each game, including Saturday at Maryland. A's setting sights on second place (Oakland A's) A's setting sights on second place Archdiocese sets fundraising record (St. Louis Post-Dispatch) The St. Louis Archdiocese said local Catholics contributed more than $13 million to its annual fundraising effort, surpassing its goal by more than $1 million and setting a record for the 59-year-old campaign. United Way sets goal at $935,000 (Great Falls Tribune) United Way of Cascade County kicked off its annual fundraising drive Tuesday, setting a goal of $935,000. United Way launches campaign for $2.2 million (The Hendersonville Times-News) The United Way of Henderson County volunteers, staff and community officials kicked off the 2008 fund raising campaign at 7:30 a.m. today at the Historic Courthouse, setting a goal of $2.2 million to meet needs of the community in health care, social services and other areas. RI residents oppose mass housing (Quad-City Times) Rock Island?s Housing Authority, or RIHA, wrapped up hours of goal setting for its next fiscal year Thursday night. But controversy is building about one of the agency?s proposals. Sallie Mae to turn on $10B private tap (Baltimore Business Journal) Sallie Mae is rushing into a market many are deserting by setting a goal of making $10 billion worth of student loans that are not backed by the federal government. (SLM) On the agenda (The Fort Collins Coloradoan) September Symposium 8 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., Friday, Lincoln Center, 417 W. Magnolia St. Attend these free sessions on a wide variety of topics ranging from avoiding burnout, performance appraisals, conflict resolution, small business leadership, goal setting, marketing and more. Reservations are required. For more information, visit www.larimerworkforce.org Going for the goal (Bangkok Post - Thailand's English news) Goals are one of the most important elements of success at any level and in any field. Having clear goals helps us know exactly what we want to accomplish in what time frame. Goals can also inspire us and get us excited and motivated. Site: goal setting - Google News A strategic plan for goal setting - Santa Rosa Press Democrat
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