|
|
| Information |
|
|
Achieving Elusive Goals
Everyone has something in their life that they would like to change. Some really big goals include overcoming addiction, achieving and sustaining weight loss, attaining inner peace, manifesting health, or becoming more successful. We are born to continuously expand our abilities. The beginning of most goals are exciting. Visions of triumph flourish in the minds of those starting a path of change. Each new day brings energy to chase down the most elusive of goals. But what if you've been working on manifesting the same dream for years? And one day, despite your optimism, despite the effort of applying the tools of empowerment, you realize that you have not acquired the goal which you set for yourself. Encountering a obstacle, even a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, doesn't mean you are on the wrong path. We all experience despair and doubt. Times where we question the worth of what we do. Moments of temptation to give up. I have them, as does each person I work with. I would wager that everyone striving to become more than they were before, reaches a critical time of choice. Feeling sorry for yourself is not a wrong action. What we often fail to see is the value in this pit of despair. This experience of despair is precisely what is necessary for the breakthrough to occur. BELIEF SYSTEMS AND INTERNAL TAPES The dark experiences of despair are not logical, nor solved intellectually. These moments of darkness mean we have brought ourselves back to the core of what we believe about ourselves. Deep painful beliefs that we would rather keep hidden from ourselves and from others. The pain of not yet achieving our goals forces us to look at what we believe to be true about ourselves. Limiting beliefs are varied, but can include the following: "Something is wrong with me." "I never get what I want." "I cant' get what I want, no matter what I do. It's hopeless." "Who I am is not enough." "I don't belong." When we are undergoing change, the realization we must make is that is it not what faces us that is the problem, but how we are reacting to it. How we react to the situation is based on our inner beliefs about ourselves. The despair is felt because you have increased inner conflict. Conflict of what you want to believe versus what you actually believe. This conflict must either be suppressed (by giving up the goal) or the conflict must be resolved (goal is attained or a new belief system becomes integrated.). It is at this very pressure point, giving up or moving forward, that allows the choice to step into a new belief about yourself or to reinforce an old belief. Just because things seem insurmountable right now, doesn't mean you shouldn't be following this path. It only means you are face to face with what you believe. And an inner belief system being threatened can result in a variety of symptoms, the most common being negative thoughts, suicidal thoughts, hopelessness, low energy, panic or anxiety, or worrying about small details. DARK PITS With great change comes the risk of facing the darkness of what we believe about ourselves. Sometimes it's fairly easy to face the darkness and bring light. But sometimes we fall directly into the pit. If you fall in, take a breath and know this experience has great value. You are only here because you are ready to explore and encounter a horrible idea that you have about yourself. An idea that you can't have what you want, that your best isn't good enough, or that no matter what you do things remain hopeless. Inside the dark hole are ideas you made up about yourself when you were a child as an attempt to explain the experience of growing up. Your spirit is hiding in the darkness, waiting for your return. So if you are in the dark pit of despair you are in a place of blest fortune. You have reached the place in which you have hidden your spirit. Only you can choose to bring you spirit back into the light. As you face the darkness, will you decide to heal your spirit by offering it encouragement? Will you reassure your spirit and bring new information? Let's say you decide to be with your darkness? Now what? You must sit with it. Sit with the pain of what this darkness represents. Yes, it feels overwhelming. Confusing. Hopeless. In the darkness there are only dark thoughts. Do not fight the darkness with more darkness (anger, frustration, threats, hopelessness . . ). It would only create a larger darkness. ACCEPTANCE alone is the key. The darkness and despair fights with all it's might to keep us believing that we are weak and defective. Not because it is evil, but because we put these beliefs into place to keep our spirits safely hidden in the dark. As an adult, you now hold the key to accept the darkness, to accept all the dark thoughts, and offer it love and light. Listen to your spirit. Let it speak its words of fear. Then offer your spirit comfort and acceptance. After all, your spirit went through some pretty tough times that it deciding hiding was the only safe option. You have traveled quite a distance, only to come to a dead end. Accept that you do not have what you want. Accept this. Not with anger, not with frustration. Simply breath and accept.It doesn't matter why you are at this point. It is as it is. Now go more deeply into it. This point of transition can provide opportunity to strengthen your spirit and not let outside circumstances throw you off balance. This is a pivotal occasion to choose empowering thoughts, practice gentleness and reassurance, and reinforce your belief that you can have what you want. Accept the experience as best you can. It will lead to insight. Acceptance of what is, even though it might feel terrifying, is the way out. Acceptance is not apathy. Use acceptance to allow you to go deeper. A journal, a therapist, or a trusted friend may help as you sit with these questions: 1. What am I experiencing right now? 2. What are my thoughts concerning this experience? 3. What am I feeling? 4. What do I believe about myself, my place in the world, as I encounter this dead end? 5. Is this similar to how I felt in certain situations as a child? 5. What does my spirit need to feel safe and trusting? 6. If I was wise and loving, how would I comfort myself? WHICH PATH TO CHOOSE Go forward or give up? There are no wrong choices. At this point of transition, do not force yourself. Do not inflict judgement upon yourself. Realize that you have invited yourself to question an essential belief you hold to be true about yourself. Maybe the time is right to sit with this, maybe the time is not yet right. If it is your destiny to allow yourself to have what your goal represents, you will create the opportunity once again. Relax. Recognize how terrifying this moment is and find compassion for yourself. What path should you choose? Carlos Castaneda wrote in, "The Teaching of Don Juan", "Does the path have heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has heart and the other doesn't. One makes you strong; the other weakens you." Perhaps the real transition at this choice point is the courage to open your heart to yourself as you witness yourself experiencing what you fear most. SITTING WITH WHAT IS To move through this doubt and despair, sit with what you feel. Speak the words of frustration and anger. Write them down. Often times what we most need is someone else to allow us to fully be in a place of utter hopeless. For them to say, "I see you there, and it's okay." And to know they won't attempt to fix it or make it better. We need to offer ourselves the same compassion. To look at ourselves in our moments of despair and say, "It's okay that I feel this. It's okay that I am experiencing this." To offer ourselves the love and compassion of not trying to fix ourselves. If confusion is what you feel, fully feel confusion, with love for yourself as you feel it. Open your body and let confusion and expand within you. Experiment (with a therapist if this is too difficult) with not being afraid of your own emotions. Avoid the temptation to retreat into old patterns of starving, overeating, bingeing, or numbing out with other addictions. The fact that you are feeling such confusion is not a sign of failure. This is a sign of growth and courage. Even though the feelings are difficult, recognize the value of being exactly where you are. Attempt to be with your feeling without judgement. Feel what you feel with acceptance. Accept that you are experiencing despair, hopelessness or frustration. No need to judge it. No need to defend it. No need to analyze it and figure out where this came from. It is acceptable to feel misery. It is acceptable to want to give up. We've all felt that at times. Your task at this critical point is to find a way to open your heart and receive to your own despair. Cry the tears, shout the anger, give witness to the unfairness of it all. Then decide. Even though you are at a dead end, what can you do right now? It might seem so much easier to go back to food, bingeing, alcohol, starving, exercise, or diversions for comfort. But is that what you really want? Refocus your thoughts away from the future and bring yourself back to right now. Bring words of power and encouragement. "I possess the gifts of inner belief, patience, conviction and discipline. I can choose my goals and I have the strength and stamina to reach for them. I am a working and viable part of the world and I have an important job to do. I am not afraid to believe in my inner strength or my power." GREATER FAITH As I continue on my journey, I have learned that achieving greater faith is an ongoing journey. and not just a one step process. Each of us have many limiting belief systems within that must be faced, accepted, and released. Faith in anything, including myself, is an infinite and ever expanding experience. There is a passage in Betty Eadie's book, "Awakening the Heart" where she describes faith as an ongoing process. First we have knowledge. Then belief. We practice belief over and over again, and eventually faith begins to develop. Whether you are talking about faith in a god, or faith in yourself, it is not something you wake up with one day. At least that is not my experience. It takes going back to the dark places to re-establish faith. Learning to be kind to our spirit that may be scared, stubborn, and even defiant. Although it is painful and we may desperately want to run from what we feel, only by sitting with our spirit that is hiding in the darkness and bringing it love that we can re-establish faith. I have often wished at times it weren't so. It is excruciatingly painful to uncover what hurts within us. But we eventually discover truth: it is only our own misconception, our own belief, our own judgement and punishment, that we are not worthy. The reward is deciding, to our amazement, that it really is okay to open our own heart to all aspects of our self. Copyright 2005, Dr. Annette Colby, all rights reserved. Dr. Annette Colby, RD "Opening Creative Portals to Success" For free inspirational newsletter, articles & info visit:http://www.LovingMiracles.com
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news Myanmar's Suu Kyi to get family letters, news mags (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Detained Myanmar opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi has managed to wring small concessions from the ruling generals in the form of letters from her family and some international news magazines, her lawyer said on Friday. JCDecaux in talks for News Outdoor Group in Russia (AP via Yahoo! News) French outdoor advertising firm JCDecaux SA said Thursday it is negotiating to buy Russian rival News Outdoor Group from global media company News Corp. News Corp tightens grip on Premiere with new CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch tightened his grip on German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere by appointing News Corp executive Mark Williams as CEO in a move to get the company back on track. SEC Looks Into UAL Stock Scare; Implications For Online News? (CBS News) A ton of digits have been devoted to this in other spots but the SEC's decision to investigate takes it to another level. The backstory: a six-year-old news story about UAL declaring bankruptcy made it into the Tribune-owned Sun-Sentinel 's current news flow, was picked up by a Google (NSDQ: GOOG) News bot and, via a reporter for a newsletter, made it onto Bloomberg News. After a lot of buck ... JCDecaux and News Corp. in talks to combine outdoor ad groups (International Herald Tribune) The News Corp. chief executive, Rupert Murdoch, has recently expressed nervousness about investments in Russia, where News Outdoor generated the bulk of its revenue last year. SEC Looks Into UAL Stock Scare; Implications For Online News? (paidContent.org via Yahoo! Finance) A ton of digits have been devoted to this in other spots but the SEC's decision to investigate takes it to another level. The backstory: a six-year-old news story about UAL declaring bankruptcy made it into the Tribune-owned Sun-Sentinel's current news flow, was picked up by a Google News bot and, via a reporter for a newsletter, made it onto Bloomberg News. JCDecaux in talks to buy News Corp. billboard unit (AP via Yahoo! Finance) In a deal that would create the world's largest outdoor advertising company, French conglomerate JCDecaux SA said Thursday that it is in talks to buy Russian rival News Outdoor Group from global media company News Corp. Phila. mayor to announce grim budget news (The Philadelphia Inquirer) The Nutter administration is expected to announce grim budget news today, which is all but certain to lead to significant spending cuts - perhaps as high as 10 percent - in some city departments, according to three sources familiar with the budget. News Corp says Mark Williams interim Premiere CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp. executive Mark Williams has taken over as chief executive of German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere in an interim capacity, News Corp. said after the move led to renewed takeover speculation. News Corp. says Mark Williams interim Premiere CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Mark Williams, a News Corp. executive named late on Wednesday as chief executive of German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere, has taken over in an interim capacity, a News Corp. spokeswoman said on Thursday. Site: news - Google News Ballmer touts Windows 7 beta, new deals - CNET News
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for goal setting GIRLS? SOCCER: Giants? goal? School record 15 (Marion Chronicle-Tribune) ANDERSON ? Marion won its first girls? soccer match Wednes-day in record-setting style. The Giants set a single-game scoring record and completely dominated host Anderson Highland, 15-0. Tamara Barrett, Jackie Roorbach and Alex Lester each had three-goal hat tricks for the Giants. Soft-spoken Syd'Quan not shy in setting big goals for Cal and himself at cornerback (Contra Costa Times) Thompson is tied for the NCAA lead in interceptions with three after two games, and three picks is his goal for each game, including Saturday at Maryland. A's setting sights on second place (Oakland A's) A's setting sights on second place Archdiocese sets fundraising record (St. Louis Post-Dispatch) The St. Louis Archdiocese said local Catholics contributed more than $13 million to its annual fundraising effort, surpassing its goal by more than $1 million and setting a record for the 59-year-old campaign. United Way sets goal at $935,000 (Great Falls Tribune) United Way of Cascade County kicked off its annual fundraising drive Tuesday, setting a goal of $935,000. United Way launches campaign for $2.2 million (The Hendersonville Times-News) The United Way of Henderson County volunteers, staff and community officials kicked off the 2008 fund raising campaign at 7:30 a.m. today at the Historic Courthouse, setting a goal of $2.2 million to meet needs of the community in health care, social services and other areas. RI residents oppose mass housing (Quad-City Times) Rock Island?s Housing Authority, or RIHA, wrapped up hours of goal setting for its next fiscal year Thursday night. But controversy is building about one of the agency?s proposals. Sallie Mae to turn on $10B private tap (Baltimore Business Journal) Sallie Mae is rushing into a market many are deserting by setting a goal of making $10 billion worth of student loans that are not backed by the federal government. (SLM) On the agenda (The Fort Collins Coloradoan) September Symposium 8 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., Friday, Lincoln Center, 417 W. Magnolia St. Attend these free sessions on a wide variety of topics ranging from avoiding burnout, performance appraisals, conflict resolution, small business leadership, goal setting, marketing and more. Reservations are required. For more information, visit www.larimerworkforce.org Going for the goal (Bangkok Post - Thailand's English news) Goals are one of the most important elements of success at any level and in any field. Having clear goals helps us know exactly what we want to accomplish in what time frame. Goals can also inspire us and get us excited and motivated. Site: goal setting - Google News A strategic plan for goal setting - Santa Rosa Press Democrat
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Make Goals Specific Saying that you want to be rich isn't enough. However, when you say: "I want $12,000 two years from now", you have a specific target that you can break down into manageable goals. Goal Objectives: Looking Ahead To Get Ahead With Planning With goal objectives in mind, consider the organizers of a marathon race. They take time to mark out the course. Ready, Set, Change! I was at work one day, calling on a customer who wasn't answering her phone. Her voice mail message started out in the usual way, "?we're not home, leave a message?" what followed was not so usual. Competition, Jealousy And Goals Naturally some of us are more competitive than others, but the vast majority of us have a good degree of competition hardwired into us. If you think you are not competitive in the least, ask yourself: have you ever felt a twinge of desire, jealousy or envy when looking at another person's accomplishments or lifestyle? If you said yes, you are competitive - otherwise you wouldn't care what others have. You Are What You Do! Too often, people say one thing and do another. I admit that I have often slid into this rut and thought about how I need to do something (lose weight for example) and then don't follow through and do anything about it (yes, I'm still 245 pounds). Willpower: Who Needs It? Not Me What is this mysterious creature, this intangible element, this phantom that we seek for so hard, yet can often never find, or keep control of? This thing called 'willpower' and who really needs it anyway?For me, I know it. I admit it. I Need to Accomplish Something Do you have trouble taking a day off? Boy, I do. When I take a day off I lie around all day, read novels, eat whatever I want, take a nap, and generally do whatever I want. Give Bad Habits the Boot! Everybody has bad habits. Everybody. The Importance of Aligning Your Personal Goals With Your Business Goals: Part 3 of a Series Would you like to be sure that your personal goals are consistent with your business goals? (Yes) (No)You might have certain personal goals that are, or become, divergent to your business goals.For instance, let's say that you set clear personal goals to compete in the Iron Man Triathlon in Hawaii. Goal Setting: 5 Simple Steps One of the things that frustrated me while in school was that most of the psychology books specialized in complicating things. It's the same with many self-help books as well. Goal Setting Basics - 3 Steps Plus 1 Goal setting seems to be one of the most misundertood, and overly complicated areas of self-improvement. And, well, frankly, it shouldn't be. The Power of the Negative The vast majority of us learn very early on that we are expected to deal with facts. In and of itself this might not be such a terrible thing. Focus on Your Goals Focus is the single most important factor that will determine whether your dreams come true or not. Depending on what your dreams are, there are so many rivers to cross. Ten Reasons To Have an Inspired, World Changing Goal In a nutshell, having an inspired, world-changing goal is the difference between idly walking along a path leading to nowhere and taking a purpose-filled journey to somewhere.But before you can really consider why you need an inspired, world-changing goal in your business, it's important to first understand what exactly an inspired, world-changing gGoal is. Settling For More You have enormous promise! Why compromise?I once heard one self-professed motivational expert say, "When you set your goals, aim for the moon. Aim high. The Best Way to Quit Smoking: Fasting to Quit Most quit smoking books, maybe all of them won't tell you what I'm about to tell you next. Fasting is one of the best methods to quit smoking, if not the best. How to Achieve More by Dealing with Resistance Today I want to discuss the missing link in goal attainment.. Commit It To Paper Commit it to paper - You have the idea so therefore you have within you the ability to make it a reality. Admittedly it may not always be obvious, but rest assured deep down you're capable. Discovering Your Values In the last newsletter we talked about 'Your Reason Why', and how having emotional reasons for doing things gives them real power. To see this article go to www. Attain Instant Results With Goal Setting Tools Your path to the successful accomplishment of your goals can be very thorny. Ups and downs, hardships and difficulties are inevitable components of success.
|
| Home | Site Map | Resource Links |
.jpg)