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Steroids Running Rampant In Fishing World
You knew it would come to this sooner or later.... I was sitting in one of my favorite fishing haunts the other day, getting yet another report from a recent Alaskan fishing trip,when I overheard a conversation between two local guides. "Todd sure had a great Springer season." "Yeah, nobody seemed to be catching any fish except him?!" "And did you notice the size of his HEAD...it's getting HUGE!!" "Must be all that rowing he's been doing all summer." "Yeah, that time spent on his BOWLEX in the off season is really starting to pay off." "Some guys think he might be JUICING." "Huh?" "Yeah, juicing!!" "You mean like orange juice??" "No- you hamburger- STEROIDS." "Steroids??!!" "Yeah, you know the last couple of years Todd has been having a tough go of it out there. Seems like all the younger guides have been giving him a run for the money. His fish catching production had really dropped off the last few seasons. At first, guys started seeing him drinking a lotta SOBE--you know that drink that has a bunch of Creatine, Taurine and Polypropylene in it-- anyway, pretty soon he started to need bigger fishing hats, one guy said he saw his head burst right through a ball cap on a day trip the other day.The guys thought he was like the HULK or something." "I don't get it. How does SOBE help you catch fish??" "It's not the SOBE --you beefsteak-- it's the STUFF in it." "The GREEN TEA?" "What are you--some kinda moron-- the anabolic steroids." "Hey--I know Anna Baughlick--she wouldn't have anything to do with that kinda stuff, but she does make a mean fish taco." "Look, remember the other day when Irv said that Todd was really "ripping the lips" off the fish? Well, he literally WAS ripping the lips off them!! Seems he was setting the hook and coming back with nothing but fish lips!!!" "That can't be good for the sport?" " It's all about the hook ups man, you know that. No hook ups-- no fish--no fish-- no bookings--no bookings, and.... your back selling cars." "I guess that makes sense?!? Seems unfair to the guys not JUICING--what can we do about it?" " Not a thing. The guides association says they're gonna start making guys start peeing in a cup." "They do that already." "That's different-- you rump roast-- this would be a test." "Oh. What happens if they get caught?" " They'll get an asterisk put on their fishing license." "WOW, THAT SOUNDS SEVERE!!! You mean after all those years of earning the BIG BUCKS getting paid for doing what most of us would do for free--they will have to live the rest of their days with an asterisk?Man that sounds cruel!!" "Well, they gotta do something." "But don't you still have to find the fish? I don't see where the steroids help you locate the fish and get 'em hooked up?" "Have you ever seen a guy on Stanazolol? That stuff makes you so "on edge" that if a mosquito brushes a hair on your arm you react like a male Chihuahua does when he sniffs a bitch in heat." "You hump some guys leg?" "No--you T-bone head-- it makes you really in tune, ultra aware of your surroundings." "Guess that explains him grabbing all those rods from his customers all the time." "Yeah, and they say he does a lot of "emphatic finger pointing" too." "Whatever.What does he say to all the accusations?" "Says he must have got a bad batch of SOBE." "He is taking Viagra, you know." "That has other side effects--but that really doesn't help him catch any fish." "Well, I think it's terrible--but if Todd keeps getting all the bookings, I might just have to start JUICING too" "Yeah, me too. I heard about 60 percent of all guides are doing it now." "Guess that explains why they are so cranky." "Yeah. Hey have you noticed the fish seem to be getting fatter?" "Yeah. But that's another story...." A.J. Klott
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news News Corp. says Mark Williams interim Premiere CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Mark Williams, a News Corp. executive named late on Wednesday as chief executive of German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere, has taken over in an interim capacity, a News Corp. spokeswoman said on Thursday. News Corp exec becomes chief of Germany's Premiere (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp's chief financial officer for Europe and Asia has been named chief executive of German pay television group Premiere, following the resignation of Michael Boernicke, Premiere said on Wednesday. Premiere CEO Is Replaced by News Corp.'s Williams (Update2) (Bloomberg.com) Sept. 10 (Bloomberg) -- Premiere AG , the German pay- television company partly owned by News Corp., said Chief Executive Officer Michael Boernicke is being replaced by a senior News Corp. executive. News Corporation to redevelop London Wapping site (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation is to redevelop its Wapping site in London, moving all its UK businesses, including News International, Harper Collins, MySpace and Dow Jones, under one roof. DeJesus, Royals sad at Sweeney news (MLB.com) DeJesus, Royals sad at Sweeney news Phila. mayor to announce grim budget news (Philly.com) The Nutter administration is expected to announce grim budget news today, which is all but certain to lead to significant spending cuts - perhaps as high as 10 percent - in some city departments, according to three sources familiar with the budget. Tribune blames Google for damaging news story (Market Watch) SAN FRANCISCO (MarketWatch) -- Tribune Co. said Wednesday that the mistaken online publishing of an old news story that cratered UAL Corp.'s stock price earlier this week was because of a repeated technology failure at Google Inc. Get the latest news in racing (Daily Racing Form) In order to read Daily Racing Form's free daily news stories it is required that you have a DRF.com free membership. If you do not have a DRF.com free membership, please register here . You will NOT need to be logged in to read each day's free news stories. UPI NewsTrack Entertainment News (UPI) Chesney nominated for 7 CMAs ... Hoffman: I'm not playing Penguin ... 'RocknRolla' No. 1 at U.K. box office ... Jessica Simpson stops song on 'GMA' ... News from United Press International. Kyodo News agency says three inmates executed (AP via Yahoo! Malaysia News) Kyodo News agency says three death-row inmates have been executed in Japan. Site: news - Google News Amid Gaza violence, a new task for Obama - USA Today
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for fishing Fly-fishing for these salmon is simple, fun (Detroit Free Press) SAULT STE. MARIE, Ontario -- Going after pink salmon is perfect for anyone who wants to learn how to catch salmon on a fly rod. The techniques are so simple and so much fun that they should call this Salmon Fishing 101. INSIDE THE OUTDOORS: Fishing by the numbers? Try a 7 (Detroit Free Press) My standard fly-fishing tackle for chinook salmon and steelhead used to be a nine-foot, eight-weight rod with a traditional floating line. But for pink salmon I've sometimes used a six-weight trout rod for fish that run two to five pounds. They're considerably stronger than trout of the same size, so using a six-weight really revs up the sporting factor with these fish. Fishing report: Sept. 11 (The Tennessean) FISHING REPORT South Florida fishing report (Miami Herald) With water levels more than 15 feet in Lake Okeechobee, Howard Kleeman of Slims Fishing Camp in Clewiston reported that largemouth bass are scattered and moving further up into the grassy areas, where they have not been able to get in years. . . . Largemouth bass are being caught in the Moon Shine Bay area, Pelican Bay and the west side of Red Island. The bass are eating swimming frogs, shiners, ... Fishing derby designed to promote sport of fishing to kids - and parents, too (Morris Daily Herald) The third annual Just 4 Kids Fishing Derby is just as much for the parents as for the kids, Troop 471 leader and derby organizer Dana Morse said. Pittsburgh hooks big-money fishing tournament (Pittsburgh Tribune-Review) Pittsburgh will host another big money fishing event on the Three Rivers in July and August, 2009, with $1 million guaranteed to the winner. Fishing report: Sept. 11 (The Longview News-Journal) AUSTIN (AP) ? Here is the weekly fishing report as compiled for the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department for Sept. 10. (Report also available on Web as www.txfishing.com.) Of the Outdoors ? Jig Fishing: The Ultimate Catching Tool (Yankton Press & Dakotan) With all of the traveling I do, I have the opportunity to talk with a lot of anglers. At a recent in store promotion, I was talking with a group of fishermen talking about different fishing techniques. Boy Scouts set to host fishing derby Sept. 13 (Morris Daily Herald) Morris Boy Scout Troop 471 will host its free Just 4 Kids Fishing Derby on Saturday, Sept. 13, at Gebhard Woods State Park in Morris. PHOTO GALLERY: Fishing Rodeo in Fairview Heights (St. Clair County Journal) The pond at Everett Moody Park in Fairview Heights was the place to be for young anglers on Aug. 30 as Elk?s Lodge 664 and Mayor Gail D. Mitchell sponsored the 16th annual Kid?s Fishing Rodeo. Site: fishing - Google News Fishing/hunting report - San Diego Union Tribune
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