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Divorce Makes Us Stronger
My friends call me the "Divorce Poster Child". At the age of 20 I was married, and by 22 I had our first child. My husband was away at work every weekday, so it was just myself and the baby, from seven in the morning, until five thirty in the evening, every weekday. Eventually, my husband and I found ourselves with three children, and we were now both working in the same industry. We worked for his company, and he was still away at work every day, while I managed to work from home while taking care of the house and the kids. We worked apart for all of our marriage, and we got to the point where, when we were together, we had very little to talk about besides the kids, and work. Eventually, there was even less to talk about, because it would seem that my ex-husband to be, was getting more and more distant. I sensed the distance, sat him down and said, "If you're feeling like you want to be a single man, don't go behind my back and sneak around because you want to be with someone else. Don't make me do all of the detective work that I see those poor women on T.V. having to do before finding out that their husbands are cheating on them. If that's what you want, then go. Let's cut our losses now, and do it amicably." To which he replied, "I would NEVER do that! I don't want to be single. I love you guys. What would make you say that??" Apparently, at about that time, my soon to be ex-husband was slowly developing younger woman syndrome, and eventually decided that he would rather be a single man. So, to make a very long story, somewhat shorter, I wasn't about to leave the home that I raised my children in, so he left (That's the Coles' notes version.) We've been divorced for four and a half years now. I went through many phases. The first was definitely blinding anger, followed closely (actually overlapped) by betrayal, which came before overwhelming sadness and feelings of failure, which were replaced by apprehension. Apprehension stepped aside to welcome self-pity. Major self pity. Self-pity was quickly replaced by revenge. I went on a spending spree, maxxing out his credit card twice. Each stage came with its own set of ups and downs. I've learned so many things about myself because of my divorce. I have acquaintances who are going through the same things right now, who ask me for advice, and it surprises me to hear them say that they're having the same feelings and thoughts that I had in the various stages of this journey. There were times when I thought that I was going insane. But we all go through these phases. I found that mine were therapeutic, and educational. I learned that I'm much stronger than I thought I was. I learned this when apprehension came to visit me. I learned that I have a lot more patience than I ever thought I could have. I learned that I CAN be the bigger person. I learned that as long as I take care of myself, my children do wonderfully. "The ex" is a regular visitor in our children's lives. We're not best friends, but I'm okay with that. We get along well enough, and once I grasped the lesson that what he did wasn't about me, my life improved dramatically. It was his mess. It was his mental and emotional mess. There was nothing wrong with me. I'm happy with my life, and with who I am at the end of the divorce process. I'm running my own business, and for the first time in my life I'm in complete control of every aspect of my life. If I want to eat Frosted Flakes for breakfast, lunch and dinner, I will without having anyone berate me for it. If I want to spend an outrageous amount of money on a pair of amazing shoes, I will (Mr. Visa loves me). My divorce actually made me stronger. It gave me the strength to be the person that I am supposed to be. All's wonderful in my world. I proudly bear the title "Divorce Poster Child". I think I just might put that on a tee shirt. Debbie Burgin is a Vancouver handbag designer, and mother of 3, who started and runs the successful handbag line at http://www.debbieburgin.com as a result of her divorce.
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news [News] 5 O'Clock Shadow News you can't leave work without: Asamoah makes a deal News of record News of record reports for Chelan and Douglas counties Newport News police seek help on wave of thefts from cars NEWPORT NEWS A rash of summer-night car break-ins and vandalism has police asking the public for help, and warning them to lock their vehicles. Newport News hit with rash of car break-ins NEWPORT NEWS -- Police are asking for help in solving a large number of car break-ins and vandalism cases in Newport News. According to police, 134 cases were reported in the area between J. Clyde Morris Blvd. and Oyster Point Road since June 1. Most of the incidents were between J. Clyde Morris and Middle Ground Blvd. and happened during the early evening hours. Police say many thefts happened ... NEWS ALERTS: Sign up to get breaking news on your mobile phone Get breaking local news as it happens. Enter your phone number: Standard Messaging Rates or other charges apply. To Opt-out text STOP to 4INFO (44636). For more information text HELP to 4INFO (44636). Contact your carrier for more details. Powered by 4INFO. Newport News police search for suspects in string of car thefts Newport News detectives are seeking assistance from the Community, in solving a large number of cases involving damage to, and larcenies from, cars. Newport News police seek information regarding larcenies and property damage NEWPORT NEWS -- Police are investigating 134 cases of damage to cars and larcenies from cars that occurred between June 1 and July 25, according to police. News in brief Here are a selection of brief news items from this week?s paper edition, and possibly a few news briefs that didn?t make it in the paper. Newport News townhouse damaged by fire NEWPORT NEWS A townhouse in the 1000 block of Willow Green Drive was damaged by fire this morning, fire officials said. One of the residents had minor burns to his hand, a Fire Department news release says. An off-duty city firefighter/medic helped evacuate the adjoining homes. News of the Past who has deep genealogical roots to Winston County, provides news from past editions of the Winston County Journal. The Winston County Board of Supervisors posted a notice of the new "Dog Law" which was passed in the July term. Site: news - Google News Arizona News Round Up - San Francisco Chronicle (blog)
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for divorce Divorce can cost less if done together Divorce is all about separating. But, it can be achieved more cheaply if done together. Divorce tycoon can hide wealth in landmark ruling A millionaire dubbed the ?Man from Del Monte? today won a landmark victory in a £350 million divorce battle. 'Mature divorce' on cards in Capital trams dispute CITY leaders say they expect a "mature divorce" over the Edinburgh tram project after an improvement in relations with contractors Bilfinger Berger. Divorce olympics A nasty, "War of the Roses"-type divorce is rocking one of Europe's oldest hedge funds -- the onetime $3.4 billion Ikos family of funds founded by the now-battling husband-and-wife team whose privileged life of private jets, yachts and, recently, a possible 23-year-old Brazilian mistress has become the... Landmark ruling on divorce money A "ground-breaking" Court of Appeal judgement removes the protection previously given to thousands of people in divorce proceedings. Case for divorce already rejected by European Court of Human Rights A 24-year-old judgment by the European Court of Human Rights may dampen lawyer Lynn Zahra?s hopes of getting the Strasbourg court to ?force? Malta to introduce divorce since it was not deemed to be a human right. Courts bar dodgy documents from divorce cases Hildebrand rules hustled out People involved in divorce wrangles will no longer be able to use dodgily-obtained documents to prove their spouse is hiding money, following a landmark Court of Appeal ruling.? Kyron Horman's stepmom won't contest divorce from Kyron's dad PORTLAND, Ore. -- Terri-Moulton Horman, the stepmother of missing 7-year-old Kyron Horman, will not contest her estranged husband's request for a divorce. A "motion to abate" document was filed by Terri's attorney Peter Bunch Wednesday. In it, Terri agreed not to contest the divorce, saying that intense media and law enforcement scrutiny and speculation prevented her from handling the case in an ... Smith had affair with staffer, divorce records say Smith had affair with staffer, divorce records say Oregon boy's stepmom says no contest in divorce PORTLAND -- The stepmother of Kyron Horman says she will not contest a divorce from the father of the missing 7-year-old Oregon boy who disappeared nearly two months ago. Site: divorce - Google News Kyron Horman Update: Stepmom Asks for Divorce Delay - CBS News
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