The News You Dont Want To Hear: Youve Got Breast Cancer

For many people being told that they have cancer is one ofthe most stressful times in their lives. Just as we think wehave everything under control, something comes along thatcan shatter even the strongest of wills.

Out of the blue, in September 2002, Sara faced one of thebiggest challenges of her life - her mother was diagnosedwith breast cancer. Having nursed her mother through herillness, Sara took the step of having a mammogram just tomake sure she herself was clear. All over Christmas shetried to put it to the back of her mind, but she couldn'thelp worrying.

On New Year's Eve 2002, she was horrified to learn that notonly did she have breast cancer, but that it was aparticularly aggressive form. Of course, Sara was very angryat first. She thought, Why me? It would have been better ifI hadn't gone for a mammogram. She was also very scared.She said, When someone says, You have cancer, youimmediately think you're going to die. I have to wait sixweeks before my surgery and I have no idea how I will staysane until then. What on earth am I going to do?"

After a few very bleak days, Sara decided she was determinednot to give in too easily. Her mother had, after all, foughtthe disease, so she, too, could do the same. When she wascalm enough to answer her question What on earth am I goingto do? several answers came to her, as she was walking herdog.

Find out as much as possible about breast cancer.

Talk to other people who have faced similar situations.

Be realistic about what she could change and what she neededto accept.

When Sara opened her eyes and started to believe that shehad choices, she was amazed at the different ideas thatpopped into her head. She discovered practical ways toprepare her body and mind prior to her mastectomy andreconstructive surgery. She was able to make a number ofchoices in her life, including exercise, changing her dietand learning how to chill out with meditation.

By the time Sara went into hospital in February, her frameof mind had shifted from a very negative one to that of howshe could take control of her life. She said, I can't stopthe cancer running through my body but I can change how Ideal with it. It's taking over my body but it doesn't haveto take over my mind. I can control how I deal with it.

Sara is certain that her excessive workload, poor nutritionand lack of exercise had taken a toll on her body and werecontributing factors to her state of health. She sees herillness as a new chapter in her life rather than the end ofit. As well as conventional medicine, Sara has alsodiscovered the power of laughter. "It is impossible to laughand feel stressed at the same time. I think laughing bringsabout release."

If you are feeling stressed you might not feel likelaughing. But laughter really is the best medicine. As Sarapointed out, it is difficult to laugh and feel anxious atthe same time! Try it! How do you feel when you have areally good laugh? As soon as you start to laugh, the powerof the stress is lessened.

I have recently been very involved in setting up a charity,Clowns in the Sky, which supports children suffering frombrain tumours. Children with tumours spend many weeks inhospital undergoing painful treatment and we have found thatbringing some fun into their lives makes a huge differenceto their well-being. If they can laugh, so can you!

My favourite films are The Full Monty, Bridget Jones andHitch. Why? Because they make me laugh!

This Christmas we tried out a really funny game. Try saying"purple sprouting broccoli" with your lips over your teeth;it is almost impossible to do. You will laugh withfrustration that no one can understand you and others willlaugh at you because you look and sound so silly. Don'tworry, everyone including you will be laughing!

Is everything perfect for Sara? Of course not. Her initialsurgery was successful although she was diagnosed withbreast cancer again a few months ago. The fear that thecancer might return again has always been the hardest thingfor her to deal with and it is something she thinks aboutevery day. But she feels much more in control of certainaspects of her life. She is trying to focus on what she canchange, just a day at a time. She still finds the visits tohospital very stressful, but she doesn't allow herself todwell on negative aspects of her illness for too long as shehas found it very counterproductive.

Sara didn't have any choice about having breast cancer. Shedid have choices, however, about how she chose to deal withlife each day.

You may not be able to influence and overcome everystressful situation, but you can take charge over how yourespond.

If you are facing a major change and finding life verystressful, what changes can you make to how you view thesituation today?

If you want to manage stress in your life, you need to beginwith yourself.

None of us are able to predict the future, but we can makethe present better if we choose to.

What makes you laugh? Do you have a favourite video, astory, a joke or a friend who helps you to lighten up?

Focus on what you can change and you will start to feel morein control of your life.

Carolyn Matheson is a nationally recognized Coach,Speaker and Author of "Yes to Less Stress."

Carolyn is a Master Certified Coach, and works with executives and their teams across theworld. She has pioneered an innovative approach to coaching,combining many years of high performance coaching with aholistic approach to work/life balance and has coachedhundreds of leaders and their teams. Her experience as apresenter, both nationally and internationally, spans 20years, with clients currently in Europe, Australia, theMiddle and Far East, and the USA.

Her new book, Yes to Less Stress is available online at her website, http://www.areustressed.com

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