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Mexican Living: Haircuts, Doctors, and Things
There is a universal, absolute, immutable, infrangible, and inviolable fact of the universe (like gravity and bad breath) that one rarely considers: No matter what you tell your haircut person (notice how nonsexist that was) about how you want your hair cut it will NEVER come out the way you want it, EVER! You will get the haircut the person who is cutting your hair wants to give you. This has always been true since Adam first asked Eve to cut his hair and it came out looking like the raccoon he just named. This is true. It's in the Bible. This has always been my experience whenever I went to the barber in the United States. He or she (there I am again acknowledging both sexes) would ask me how I wanted to have my haircut. I would mumble something incomprehensible, to which they would always say, "Alrighty, let's see what we can do." In addition, it would come out looking like the haircut person wanted it to. I would tell them thank you, pay them a fortune, and walk out with my head hung low. Now, imagine, if you will, having to try this in Mexico in Spanish! It is the same here. They ask you how you want your hair cut and you have to come up with an explanation. I prepared diligently for the day I knew would eventually come. I had this Spanish book with a dialogue in it called, "Let's get our hair cut!" I memorized the pertinent vocabulary. I even practiced hand gestures in the mirror to pantomime how short I wanted my hair and where to cut and how much. I had this down to a science and was confident that I was finally, for the first time in my life, going to get the haircut I wanted. You see I thought, stupidly, that somehow it would be different here. So, my wife and I went into the hairstylist place. She went, not that she needed a haircut, but to hold my hand. I told the haircut person, with unfailing linguistic accuracy, how I wanted my hair cut. He mumbled something back to my clear and succinct Spanish that I did not understand, and then got to work. When it was done, I put on my glasses. When I looked into the mirror, I looked like a taller and slightly skinner version of Drew Carey. I pulled my visor over my head, paid the guy, and slithered off. I let it grow out and tried this again only with a different "establishment." This time it was a woman who cut my hair. I went through the whole routine again. Only this time, I contacted a fellow expat, who is a fluent Spanish speaker, and got haircut-explaining lessons from him. I was even better prepared. I went through the ordeal but came out looking like a fatter version of Justin Timberlake. This is when the universal law of haircutting was first firmly established in my mind. No matter where you go on this planet, you will always get the haircut the haircutter THINKS you want and there is nothing you can do about it-ever! I knew I had to do something. I couldn't afford to go to the United States just to get a haircut. What I now do is take my passport with me to get a haircut. For my passport picture, I had my head shaved to a velvety shrub. I could use my head as a brillo-pad. This has been working every time. This leaves no room for creative license for the haircutting person and it comes out exactly as I want it each time. It is foolproof! I am happy. My hair is happy. It is one less worry. Except try going to the doctor and explain how you have the painful and embarrassing itch of hemorrhoids. Doug Bower is a freelance writer and book author. His most recent writing credits include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle, and The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Transitions Abroad. He lives with his wife in Guanajuato, Mexico. His new book, Mexican Living: Blogging it from a Third World Country can be seen at http://www.lulu.com/content/126241
Latest News:Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for news Myanmar's Suu Kyi to get family letters, news mags (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Detained Myanmar opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi has managed to wring small concessions from the ruling generals in the form of letters from her family and some international news magazines, her lawyer said on Friday. JCDecaux in talks for News Outdoor Group in Russia (AP via Yahoo! News) French outdoor advertising firm JCDecaux SA said Thursday it is negotiating to buy Russian rival News Outdoor Group from global media company News Corp. News Corp tightens grip on Premiere with new CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) Rupert Murdoch tightened his grip on German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere by appointing News Corp executive Mark Williams as CEO in a move to get the company back on track. SEC Looks Into UAL Stock Scare; Implications For Online News? (CBS News) A ton of digits have been devoted to this in other spots but the SEC's decision to investigate takes it to another level. The backstory: a six-year-old news story about UAL declaring bankruptcy made it into the Tribune-owned Sun-Sentinel 's current news flow, was picked up by a Google (NSDQ: GOOG) News bot and, via a reporter for a newsletter, made it onto Bloomberg News. After a lot of buck ... JCDecaux and News Corp. in talks to combine outdoor ad groups (International Herald Tribune) The News Corp. chief executive, Rupert Murdoch, has recently expressed nervousness about investments in Russia, where News Outdoor generated the bulk of its revenue last year. SEC Looks Into UAL Stock Scare; Implications For Online News? (paidContent.org via Yahoo! Finance) A ton of digits have been devoted to this in other spots but the SEC's decision to investigate takes it to another level. The backstory: a six-year-old news story about UAL declaring bankruptcy made it into the Tribune-owned Sun-Sentinel's current news flow, was picked up by a Google News bot and, via a reporter for a newsletter, made it onto Bloomberg News. JCDecaux in talks to buy News Corp. billboard unit (AP via Yahoo! Finance) In a deal that would create the world's largest outdoor advertising company, French conglomerate JCDecaux SA said Thursday that it is in talks to buy Russian rival News Outdoor Group from global media company News Corp. Phila. mayor to announce grim budget news (The Philadelphia Inquirer) The Nutter administration is expected to announce grim budget news today, which is all but certain to lead to significant spending cuts - perhaps as high as 10 percent - in some city departments, according to three sources familiar with the budget. News Corp says Mark Williams interim Premiere CEO (Reuters via Yahoo! News) News Corp. executive Mark Williams has taken over as chief executive of German pay-TV broadcaster Premiere in an interim capacity, News Corp. said after the move led to renewed takeover speculation. DIVA TALK: Chatting with In the Heights ' Mandy Gonzalez Plus News of Fraser, Testa and Bundy (Playbill) News, views and reviews about the multi-talented women of the musical theatre and the concert/cabaret stage. Site: news - Google News Palm Shares Soar As New Smartphone Wins Wall Street Praise - CNNMoney.com
MORE RESOURCES: Site: Yahoo! News Search Results for beauty Documentary on beauty hits Napa; local couple get their message out (Napa Valley Register) Is America obsessed with beauty? It?s a question a Napa couple have helped answer in a highly-decorated documentary film about to play in Napa. Fashion Beauty Music (Scoop.co.nz) Drawing only the best crowds, providing a party atmosphere like no otherand always raising the bar, FASHION BEAUTY MUSIC has established itself asa premium high profile event with a reputation of quality. First Beauty Contest for Hybrid Falcons to be Held in Capital (Khaleej Times) abu dhabi ? The International Hunting and Equestrian Exhibition ? Abu Dhabi 2008 ? will host the first beauty contest for hybrid falcons, organisers of the event said on Thursday. Beauty from the inside out, outside in (Midland Daily News) They were already, all of them, beautiful young women. But on the stage at Coleman High School early Saturday afternoon, they positively glowed with a new awareness of the unique beauty each possessed. From the audience, cheers, whistles and applause confirmed their newly heightened confidence. FALLING FOR FALL BEAUTY TRENDS (Las Vegas Review-Journal) The fall runways were good to the beauty industry. Rather than send out looks that let the clothes do all the talking, designers collaborated with beauty artists to capture a complete vision. Audience members didn't know which to glue their eyes to, the garments or the hair and makeup. Flaming Gorge: Beauty and variety (The Salt Lake Tribune) Flaming Gorge National Recreation Area - A guy like Emmett Heath, who has spent much of his adult life hanging around Flaming Gorge Reservoir and the Green River, might be excused if he took the area's beauty and wildlife for granted. Real beauty at Palace (Redditch Standard) HIGHLY acclaimed European Ballet presents classic and enchanting ballet Sleeping Beauty at Redditch's Palace Theatre this Sunday (September 14, 5.30pm). Robber strikes beauty supply store in Merced (Merced Sun-Star) Merced police are on the lookout for a man who committed a robbery at Sally's Beauty Supply store on Tuesday. Beauty Therapist (Maternity cover) (World Leisure News) Nuffield Proactive Health has a great opportunity for a Beauty Therapist to work within one of Europe?s largest corporate Wellness facilities in Canary Wharf. This Corporate Club of the Year 2005 is 41,000 sq. ft in size and has a team of 24 members of staff. Delgado's late run a thing of beauty (MLB.com) Delgado's late run a thing of beauty Site: beauty - Google News OQO OLED Notebook Is A Luminous Beauty - Wired News
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